tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48034201074615405732024-02-06T18:40:10.126-08:0012 Mushy Bananasmary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-46838748847758625102011-08-18T11:44:00.001-07:002011-08-20T09:10:25.146-07:00New AddressHey folks,<br />
I've decided to move my mumblings and random rumblings over to tumblr. I have already transferred all of my old posts over there and will continue to update you on my life from that platform. I am paring down this site to be only my posts from my VIDES+USA service so that it will remain linked to their site as a mission blog, and nothing more. I will no longer continue to update this blog, but I will leave it up.<br />
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You can keep up with what I'm doing now and follow me over at <<a href="http://howdoyourbananasgrow.tumblr.com/">howdoyourbananasgrow.tumblr.com</a>><br />
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Thank you.<br />
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It's been rad.<br />
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PS see comment below. I couldn't post the new URL there for some reason so here it is: <a href="http://september8th.tumblr.com/">http://september8th.tumblr.com/</a><br />
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Love.mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-62602888368027794432011-06-05T08:32:00.000-07:002011-06-05T08:32:10.274-07:00It's a story you've heard before, but it bears re-telling...<div class="MsoNormal">Dear Jesus,</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Hello dear love, I need to write to you. I always do. Save me from my own comfort and complacency, may our constant contact truly be, constant. I love you; more than that, I need you. I need you for breath, I need you for life, I need you every day that I try to be the woman you created me to be. I am nothing before you, but all of you is strong enough for me. All of you is more than enough.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I have moved back to the great Pacific Northwest and am living with my sister in Tacoma. I have my own space here, and such beautiful company, and joyful meals and so much time spent in fun and fellowship. The hours I spend applying for jobs are just a small piece of the beautiful life I have begun here. In the face of all that God has given, I am so grateful. I am so at ease however, that I must fight to stay conscientious of my behavior and presence in the world. Most of all, I must fight to maintain prayer. I need to talk to God, often, constantly, to remain grounded in his purposes for me. I can never take a vacation from being God’s child, so I should always behave like it. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I have been thinking about humility lately. What is it but recognition of the great love and forgiveness of God in comparison with my own failings? God knows I am so far from His perfect will in everything that I attempt, yet I am not too far for His grace. He is so good! Humility is knowing the truth about myself, and accepting it, and also accepting that there is still hope for me because of God’s great mercy. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">God himself was so humble that He came down, from His eternal dwelling place where He had existed with the Father from the beginning, and became man. He took on our flesh, our humanity, our own sinful imperfections and made them perfect in his most perfect nature, giving us an example of how to live and showing us carefully how to love rightly. But He went further and not only humbled Himself in the extreme in coming down to our level, but also sacrificed Himself in our flesh for our sakes, in our stead, in order to redeem us. When first we chose sin and the knowledge of evil over true love and trust, God could have abandoned us and started over, but He didn’t. Knowing full well what it would require to bring us back to Him in communion, he set events in motion to prepare for His own son, His own being to be with us, convert our hearts, and ransom our souls with his perfection, and perfect sacrifice: abandoning Himself to the divine will, as we all should do. It was necessary that it be done in this terrible way, because it was never a question of God’s forgiveness, acceptance and love for us, but rather our acceptance of God. It was necessary that this sacrifice be made so that <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">we</b> would realize the depths of God’s love for us, so that now knowing evil, we might be made to understand good. Knowing sin, that we might understand love, forgiveness, faithfulness and trust. Knowing pain, that we might understand redemption. That we might understand Hope. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Humility is what opens the gate. It is what breaks down the door unlocked by Christ but closed in so many of our lives so much of the time. It is that which blasts open our small isolated knowledge (the fruit of that tree) which keeps us comfortable, complacent and striving for our own good, into a huge and awesome reality: the truth about ourselves and the universe. Humility allows us to see beyond our senses because it allows us to enter the awesome mystery God. God humbled Himself so that we, in our own humility, might meet Him. He is the gate and the destination, which is opened through humility. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Thank you Love, for loving me. I am so unworthy, and in need of Your grace! You are so good. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">...</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Humility is like underwear. You should always have it, but no-one should see it.” –Fulton Sheen</div>mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-59440278748704791362011-05-17T13:36:00.000-07:002011-05-17T13:36:18.605-07:00Hello again!Well, I know where I am moving now: I will be heading to Tacoma this Sunday, where I will dwell with my lovely sister, at least for the time being. I am still looking for work, but I think the sort of jobs I'm looking for will be easier to get in person, so I have more confidence about finding something there. Also, my wonderful cousin has been helping me A Lot with my resume, etc. and I am ready to keep trying. I am really excited to be coming back up to somewhere cooler (!) but most of all I'm looking forward to seeing all of you lovely people who live up north. I know I haven't written much while I've been down here, but I've been really busy and had pretty limited internet access, so sorry about that. You haven't missed out on too much, just office work and 50 crazy grade schoolers clambering for more exciting bible lessons (alas, I do not know how to juggle).<br />
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My only real fear about moving again is that I always seem to say "this time" I'll make it. This time I'll get a job I can live with, that pays me in real money. This time I'll stay in one place and won't have to move again. This time I'll succeed. So far, "this time" hasn't worked out. Please God, let this time be it. Please help me to find a job so that I can move forward in my life. Help me to find a way to stay in one city for the next year+. Please God, I don't want to feel that I am running away again.<br />
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Peace and blessings, and Puget Sound I love you!mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-13657929099368442952011-05-01T14:49:00.000-07:002011-05-01T14:49:29.699-07:00Happy Divine Mercy Sunday!Hello lovely people. Thanks for all your love and support. Life has been, as per usual, rather mad lately. I appreciate that you are all in my life. I just want you to know that.<br />
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I wrote something a bit longer on facebook recently, which you can read <a href="http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=142379325834652">here</a> if you like.<br />
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I am gearing up for an move to an unknown location for the unknown work that the Lord will provide, and I am am thinking about how wonderful his <a href="http://thedivinemercy.org/message/">Divine Mercy</a> is. It is an ocean in which we can all happily drown. Let us not despair but have hope, hope in our Lord and his great rewards. Today is a day for trusting completely. For moving out of the shadows of despair into the light of truth and love, which is so much greater than the world we can see and imagine.<br />
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Thank you people for being as Christ to me, for showing me that there is good in the world, that we can love courageously in this culture of death, and that we can just trust in our sweet Jesus.<br />
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Amen.mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-19525775990305614752011-04-23T17:29:00.000-07:002011-04-23T17:29:16.060-07:00Happy Holy SatIt's time for another round of exciting news in Mary's life! Yay! Wa-hoo! Ladies and Gentlemen, I got into graduate school. It's an MSc in Environmental Archaeology and Palaeoeconomy at a university in England. Just pretend you know what that field is. I have deferred my entrance so that I can accrue some of the necessary funds through more of the sweat and tears we call jobs...or in my case volunteer positions. This time I mean it though, guys, I'm gonna find something that pays me. I would love any prayers you could send my way on that front though, because the employment field so far has been just as disappointing as the last several go-rounds.<br />
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Getting into grad school is both a relief and a stress: it means that somewhere, somehow, if I can just make it through this year, there is a future waiting for me. In the meantime though I need to read up on the field and figure out what I want to do my doctoral research in and start contacting the appropriate people. But I'm going to try not to think about that too much until I have a job.<br />
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VIDES has been great, I love Austin and have worked with some truly fabulous people here. I have gotten to have my hands in a lot of development and communication projects, which has been really rewarding, and I have started to build some really nice relationships with the kids here. Unfortunately, as is the all too frequent refrain of my life, I will be leaving them soon. Lord, bless them as they continue to grow in wisdom and years.mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-46192585508798989612011-04-04T14:39:00.000-07:002011-04-04T14:39:16.691-07:00Kitchen Soup<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Today I went with two of the sisters to a local church's soup kitchen. It was just a couple blocks away and I have driven by it all the time without ever really realizing what it was. It is a short building made of white stone; the curtains are always drawn, the door is metal. The sign reads Austin Baptist Chapel and though they have a church service there on Sundays it seems the primary function is to feed the hungry, in the physical sense. </span><br />
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</div><div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">When we entered the building I felt like we were going underground because the lights were so low, but once inside, I could see out to the street through the shade screens and the typical food-court style seating arrangements in front of me. We walked past the guests who had arrived early to the back of the kitchen and got suited up with gloves and aprons. We wrapped spoons in napkins. We prayed. We set out the food and make sure everyone knew their job. Mine was to put the bowl of soup on the tray and slide it from the "preparation counter" to the "serving counter." </div><div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</div><div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">When we started serving the guests, I was struck by how many young people there were...and how many nicely dressed people. Young people who looked like students, older men eating with such refinement and care, faces that have not seen the streets for so long. Kids with laptops plugged into their ear listening to their jams. There were of course those who were visibly high, those with missing teeth and prematurely wrinkled skin, the long unkempt beards: the hallmarks of those who make their life on the streets. There were also a few girls with black eyes. These however were not the overwhelming majority, but only a portion of the diverse group whose lunch we handled. </div><div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</div><div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I have helped in soup kitchens before on numerous occasions but it has been a few years since I've done it regularly. So many of the people who came to eat looked just like me; I felt the counter was superficial: a barrier between my rich privileged life and their life of need, except that this time, I could easily be one of them. </div><div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</div><div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I graduated from college just in time for the economy to fail and have been struggling to find employment since. I have done a lot of volunteering and quasi-volunteering and I even went back to school for a brief moment. The fact of the matter is, if I did not have the strong support of my family and the friends who have helped me out with food and lodging, I would be depending on services like these for my meals. The savings I accrued from doing well in school and the little my quasi-employment has paid would be long gone and I would be trooping gladly over to the nearest soup kitchen. So much for being gluten-intolerant. I would just have to eat my bread and take the consequences. The service counter is a lie. Who serves who? We are all brothers and sisters.</div><div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</div><div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I don't know how those who had cell phones or laptops acquired them and I certainly don't judge them for having them. Our society plays by different rules than a lot of the world and these things are pretty essential for finding employment or communicating with social services. I don't know where the young people came from or what their stories are, and I don't know about the older ones who ate with such dignity. All I know is that with the right combination of circumstances, any one of us could be grateful for that meal. </div><div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</div><div style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Having said that, I need to say this: that the food we served contained far too much sugar (some of them got 3 donuts and a piece of cake) as it was donated in large part by local bakeries (farmers! where are you!), much of the food was wasted by those who received it, and kitchens like these often enable cycles of simultaneous poverty and either addiction or materialism. But this is the hard truth we are called to live, and the line we are called to walk: Standing by what is right even when it is imperfect, and working for its improvement even when we face decades of negative social trends, and an increasing rather than a decreasing need for services we created with the hope that one day we wouldn't need them.</div><div><br />
</div>mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-87177917749975989402011-03-11T12:34:00.000-08:002011-03-11T12:34:36.652-08:00Event: March 1 9 PM Eastern<a href="http://attendthisevent.com/Classic/?eventid=17947848">Event: March 1 9 PM Eastern</a><div><br /></div><div>Listen in for info about PP defunding...</div>mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-15341489150502654602011-03-11T12:24:00.000-08:002011-03-11T12:24:55.360-08:00New Plates and Springtime...Hello again!<br />
Apologies for being so woefully negligent in letting you know what I'm up to, I only just now discovered which libraries are open on what days and therefore where I can get internet access :)<br />
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I've been having a lot of fun here in Austin. Aside from the traffic mess from South by SouthWest, the music fest, right now downtown, this is a lovely and really fun city. My roommate, another VIDES who is originally from El Salvador (!), has been here since the fall so she already knows a lot about the city and how to get around, which has been wonderful. I felt at home right away and for the first time in...ever? I feel like I want to stick around for awhile...it's a good feeling. Actually, the sunshine isn't bothering me as much as I thought either ;) For the last month it's been about 70 degrees and sunny every day, which at first was weird and prompted the immediate abandonment of my wool sweater knitting, but there's a funny thing about sunshine: people stay outside and do stuff. Which is awesome. Also, the copious amount of hipsters and Latinos makes me feel right at home. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and the summer heat to drive me mad, but for the moment, I love this place very much.<br />
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Speaking of the weather, springtime is here in full force! I currently have dirt under my fingernails, and the sweet smell of ripe soil in my recent memory: I talked the sisters into planting a garden and bought seeds the same day. Every morning I come early to the convent to water the baby plants in their newspaper pots, mix up new potting soil, cultivate, prepare, plant, sing and bless the garden space. I have also started composting with the convent's food scraps; there was some resistance at first, but now that they trust I will follow through and no "friends" will visit our piles, they say things like "Everybody should do this!" Exciting compost story!: Yesterday one of the sisters was putting something in the trash and she saw a banana peel further down. What did she do? She exclaimed about its inappropriate presence and dug it out! And then she dug more food out! Go ahead, compost lovers: give a little shout! These sisters are compost converts!<br />
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In the spirit of enjoying Texas, I got Texas license plates. Not my choice but my tabs were expired and so I had to go through the whole ritual of getting my insurance switched over, my car inspected to make sure it's good enough for Texas, new tabs purchased, title surrendered, new plates handed over. Actually, they just grabbed the plates out of a box under the desk...I always wondered about that. Apparently they buy them in bulk and then the one you get is whatever they pull out of the box first.<br />
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I am really enjoying my work and the sisters and life...I went to Gratitude day last weekend (a celebration for the Provincial to say, you guessed it, thanks), and it was really fun to see all of the sisters from the western US gathered in one room, laughing at silly skits and songs, outrageous costumes and vibrant energy. Our community sang a song about shining like the sun and someone took my suggestion to do interpretive dance very seriously. So there was also dancing. To my surprise though, we were one of the tamest acts. The Province website has pics that are not to miss: <a href="http://suoprovince.weebly.com/">http://suoprovince.weebly.com/</a><br />
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May God bless you and yours and happy Lent!<br />
Marymary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-19899669009845400382011-02-24T12:52:00.001-08:002011-02-24T12:56:56.143-08:00VIDES VIDES VIDESIf you repeat things sometimes it sounds like you actually have more to say...<br />
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Well folks, I have been as busy as a little bee since I got to Austin but I am having SO much fun! If you want to see a little taste of what I've been up to, check out <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px;"><a href="http://gravatar.com/videsusa" style="color: #269cdd; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">http://gravatar.com/videsusa</a>. </span>I've finally been putting those photoshop skills to good use! Thanks WSULA! Also, feel free to friend me on any of the sites you stumble across if you click the above link, because it makes me feel good and like all my hard work hasn't been in vain :P Also because VIDES is a fabulous organization.<br />
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Love!mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-9469659887471321012011-02-13T12:13:00.000-08:002011-02-13T12:13:47.510-08:00Austin, Here We Come!Hey yo,<br />
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So on Monday I will be heading north. My "sister" has a doctor's appointment in Austin and she decided that she feels strong enough to stay up there afterwards so we will be making the one-way trip on Valentine's Day. Once there, I will be working more intensively with development issues for VIDES and helping out with the Oratory at the parish, among other things I'm sure.<br />
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Most of the sisters are heading out for a retreat for religious this afternoon, so I have some quiet time to myself which I plan to use for packing and sharing a few more stories of these delightful ladies with you all.<br />
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Last night there was a Spurs game on and, not being a big basketball fan, enthusiastic nuns aside, I decided to go see what was going down in the other room. One of the sisters and I had started this tradition of meeting up in the activity room after the "good-night" and watching a movie together while doing quaint domestic tasks like needle-work and mending. We watched "The Waltz King" about the Strauss family, a movie about Mary appearing in Syria, nice, wholesome gems. She always turns the volume waaay up and then asks "Is this good for you? I have a hearing aid so I am fine but if you need it louder you can turn it up." :) So last night I went in there and sure enough she was getting her stuff set up and she had the newspaper with her. She said we could watch a movie or there was something that she had seen in the paper, "a premiere" which we could watch too. We scanned the page for awhile until she found it again..."Ah, the 40 year old virgin, look, three stars!" "Look, rate at R" I yelled. "Huh?" <br />
Fortunately she is sweet-natured and accommodating so when I pulled out another movie she was willing to acquiesce. ...And then I realized just how much swearing is in "Return to Me." Oh well, she liked the cute animals.<br />
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Yesterday at breakfast one of the sisters told us this story about when she had to sub in a classroom for another teacher. They were talking about Epiphany and how the three wise men came to see baby Jesus because he was going to be the king of the Jews, and how Herod stopped and questioned them on their way because, you see, he was also the king of the Jews and was nervous about there being another king. One of the kids interrupted and asked "What kind of Jews, apple jews or orange jews...?"<br />
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Well, that's all for now. It's been beautiful and lovely and I love the sisters so much but I feel ready to go. Another sister came up to me this morning while I was drying the dishes in the kitchen and singing "Remember When It Rained" at full volume and said "Don't make me cry. You are leaving us?" "Yes." "Why you want to leave us?" "It's time. I will miss you, I love you all so much, but we'll see each other again." "Okay." "Okay."<br />
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Hugs and love,<br />
Marymary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-82034369001254842602011-02-06T18:53:00.000-08:002011-02-06T18:53:00.521-08:00Nuns are fun...!Something very exciting happened here a few days ago...we had snow!!! By which I mean the ground was dusted in a 1/4 inch of powder and resembled frosted flakes. Everybody was really freaked out about it, but I couldn't for the life of me understand the fuss. I asked one of the sisters when the last time they had snow was, she said: "1985." "Nuh Uh. No way. Really?" "Yes." Everybody was really concerned about the ice too; having just driven on a fair bit on my way down here I felt like people were over-reacting, but then I read in the paper that there were 500 accidents in those 2 days. Maybe I should have stopped being snarky and started praying...<br />
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The sisters here are a class act. We have been having a lot of fun because, as Catholics, we have an important feast day at least several times a week. The sisters actually celebrate them. We decorate, and reflect and eat special food...it's all rather fabulous. These last two weeks have been Big though: Laura Vicuna (a "blessed" Salesian pupil in Chile who gave her life for her mother's virtue), then Francis de Sales (one of our patrons, our namesake and a doctor of the church), the conversion of St. Paul, Sts. Timothy and Titus, St. Thomas Aquinas (another d to the c), then DON BOSCO (our founder, along with M. Mozzarello), the Presentation of Our Lord (in the temple-used to mark the end of the Christmas season, and there is a Mexican tradition involving a plastic baby in the King's cake (from the 12th day of Christmas) where the person who gets the baby has to throw a party...the animator got the baby and tamales were enjoyed by all), then St. Blaise (we had our throats blessed) and finally St. Agatha, one of many virgin martyrs in the early church. Man, it's been an exciting 2 weeks! Oh and did I mention there have been 3 birthdays so far? And we just celebrated the Chinease New Year and our Vietnamese sisters prepared a wonderful feast...basically it's a party all the time. <br />
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Okay, not really. There are a lot of very serious aspects of being here, we spend a lot of time in prayer, entrusting ourselves to the Lord, and many of the sisters have very real and prohibitave medical conditions that set the tone of everything we do here. But at the end of the day, it's all about having joy in the Lord and delighting in the good things he does and continues to do for us.<br />
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The mental enrichment programs are going well, the sisters really seem to be getting something out of it and I really enjoy the time to get to know them better and challenge my own mind and laugh with them about how silly we are. Rather than treating it like school, I really have tried to make it something that is meaningful for them personally, and the sisters have responded with such grace and appreciation for my efforts.<br />
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Most of all, I feel that the community has really welcomed me here with open arms. I felt instantly at home, probaby due in part to the time I spent with the Salesians in El Salvador. One of the sisters told me that she was praying for me, and at first I kind of scoffed (like, "why are you praying for me?") and then I caught myself and she explained, "No I'm serious, you gave up everything to come here and help us and be with us." "Thank you" I said.<br />
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I am blown away by thier gratitude, generosity and sweetness. <br />
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These women are funny too. One of the sisters dances to the ABCs with pom poms for the kids she teaches. On her birthday she wants to have it "high key" and plans to seranade the community with mariachi music. Another sister was telling me about her youth in Egypt and how she used to get in trouble for goofing in class and have to write lines. So she started writting the lines ahead of time; she would finish her homework (sometimes doing a wrong copy and a right copy for extra effect) and go straight to writing "I will not misbehave" 100 times so that she could whip it out directly after she got in trouble. We did a skit when the Provincial came to visit about excercising our prayer muscles and the ad-libbing was hysterical...so was watching them groove to "Go Make A Difference" with light up batons. And almost all of the sisters love the Spurs, they gather 'round the set and cheer and even stay up late (9:30!) to watch the games on the west coast. <br />
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The moral of this story is I'm having a very blessed time here, and I hope you are all doing well also.<br />
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Love love love<br />
m<br />
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ps everybody knits (or crochets) :)mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-14594887870240968362011-01-24T17:57:00.000-08:002011-01-24T17:57:47.337-08:00VIDES at the Provincial HouseI arrived safely at my destination on Thursday, albeit at around 11:30pm. Fortunately I haven't totally lost my Spanish because that is all that the lady at the gate spoke, and it turns out that this is a very bilingual hoI am so enjoying being here with the sisters, because this house is just full of joy. The Holy Spirit is so present here; everyone is just so in love with Jesus-I love it! <br />
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It is especially precious to be here because I am working as a secretary for a sister who is trained as an occupational therapist and oversees most of the treatment, medication, and care of our elderly sisters. Because this is the Provincial House, it is essentially where the sisters go to retire, so most of our sisters here are elderly. My own sister is in school right now for occupational therapy and she Loves to speak in therapy language and talk about what she is learning, so every time I see a door handle that has a tab-pull rather than a knob, or a stiff seat cushion, or the easy-push foam soap dispenser, I think of all of her "positive environmental adaptations" and I smile. I feel like I'm getting to live in her world for a little bit. <br />
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The meal situation has proved to be not a problem, since we eat a lot of beans, rice and otherwise tex-mex food here. It's delicious, usually pretty nutritionally balanced and gluten-free!<br />
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Right now I'm working on putting together mental engagement activities for some of the sisters so that we can have a sort of mental exercise program here too. Sister Vuogn had a book with lots of suggestions, most of which sound really fun and can be adapted to a group setting fairly easily, and I will start doing those on Thursday. Right now I am spending a lot of time with Sister Gloria, who is the director of VIDES, because she came here after her surgery (the reason I am not in Austin right now helping her) to convalesce. I am so excited she is here! She of course is so concerned about all of the missioners and wants to help them even though she is in a lot of pain. I am sort of serving as her secretary already, as well as a part-time nurse and secretary for Sister Vuogn. It is really good because it keeps me busy, by which I mean that in between our scheduled 2.5-3 hours of prayer and meals and recreation and free time, I am busy. Am I in heaven? It is like a perfect schedule.<br />
<br />
God is good, my heart is with Jesus and I know he will order all things to his glory! Praise be to God!mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-87800290680938160622011-01-15T14:26:00.000-08:002011-01-15T14:26:09.758-08:00Heading out again...Well friends, as of Monday I will no longer be a resident of Washington (at least for the foreseeable future). I am heading back to Texas to work with the Salesian sisters again in their Provincial House. I was initially going to help in the office for VIDES but the sister in charge is having back surgery and will be unable to work (or supervise others) in the office for a little while so I will begin my service elsewhere and then return to the VIDES office in a month.<br />
<br />
It has been good being home, I have loved spending time with my wonderful family and enjoying the comforts of my old living space and the freedom to go where I want and do what I want. When I am with the sisters those freedoms are definitely reduced, as I submit my will to the good of the community and the tasks that the sisters have for me, and sometimes this is really hard for me, but I feel prepared now to go back and persevere. I have healed really well, my blood results came back good and though I can no longer eat gluten, the sisters will be able to accommodate that and I anticipate continuing in health. My time here has been filled with lots of learning about myself and my body, dentist trips, car maintenance, silly escapades, seeing old friends, dealing with insurance debacles, and trying to figure out some sort of long-term plan. I still don't have that last one down, I'll know a little bit more when I hear back from my graduate application, though getting accepted does present the problem of financing, so as usual, one open door brings us to another hallway with more choices and unknowns.<br />
<br />
Please don't take this the wrong way my dear Washingtonians, but I really hope I don't move back, at least not for several years. You have no idea how much I am going to miss all of you, honestly the only way I'm dealing with it is not thinking about it, but I have to keep moving forward. Sometimes I feel I get stuck in repetitive behaviors because I haven't learned some lesson that I was supposed to or because I was a sap and just wanted to go back to something comfortable, but I want it to be different this time. It's all in God's hands, and I pray his will be done. I know I'm a hopeless idealist, so I guess I'm just telling myself that something will work out, I'll get a job I can believe in, I'll make a difference, and maybe I'll even be happy. I don't know what's going to happen, but when I does, I know I'll know.<br />
<br />
In all peace and goodness,<br />
I'll be seeing you.mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-61165730786516689492010-12-20T12:53:00.000-08:002010-12-20T12:53:09.549-08:00Sorry it's been so long...Well the truth is it has just been a rather boring couple of months. I've been healing and now feel SO much better and I think cutting gluten out of my diet played a huge role in that. Upon reflection, I think I have probably had problems with it since college and my anemia has steadily been getting worse as a result. At any rate I'm done with the shots and can now run and skip and do lots of fun things.<br />
<br />
I have gone on a couple of trips though, I visited my grandparents on the other side of the state and ate the most delicious gluten-free brownie of my life and I also just got back from a come-and-see retreat with the Salesian sisters in LA. That was especially fun because I got to visit some old friends while driving down and back. It's amazing to see people you care about grow in goodness over time and have beautiful life experiences that broaden their perspectives on life without fundamentally changing their quirky wonderful selves. In LA we (my older sister came too) stayed with a childhood friend and played monopoly, which was a staple of her birthday parties when we were young, along with Star Wars marathons and gnawing on gingerbread-Jericho fragments from the traditional birthday cake alternative (in which we would construct a gingerbread house, load candy on the roof and march around the table seven (or more) times blowing loudly on recorders until the house collapsed-so fun). The other two friends we visited were equally magical and nostalgic, as was seeing the postulants whom I had met this summer in VIDES training.<br />
<br />
Moving around so much has made it hard for me to figure out how to say goodbye well, so mostly I just don't, believing with all my heart that we will see each other again. I am often pleased to find that this is the case. It's difficult to feel like you are really contributing to the world on some level when you are changing occupations so frequently as different positions expire or the circumstances push you forward, but I just want all of my friends to know that leaving does not mean I don't care, it doesn't mean I'm not still interested in what's going on or who you are becoming, it just means I'm still looking for what God wants me to do on a more permanent basis. I have never desired a normal job in which I will make money to support a quaint yuppie existence; that idea actually horrifies me. I have no desire for the "stuff" of the American dream. I am utterly disillusioned with consumerism and so the means to achieve that lifestyle also has lost all appeal. What is most important to me is that I am doing something meaningful for the world, and though I like seeing new places, moving so much is a side-affect of not being able to find a position that allows me to do that long-term, rather than the goal in itself.<br />
<br />
Having said all of that, I have started looking at grad schools in the past few months and have been trying to imagine my life doing one thing for a long time...what would that look like? Now that I know so much more about myself and the world, what sort of things would I be happy doing for-(dare I say)-ever? What is God calling me to? Going to the retreat with the Salesian sisters really helped me to trust God more with my life and stop doubting his plans for me. I have begun the grad school application process and am excited about what the future holds. I am still heading to Austin, TX in mid-January to finish my year of service with VIDES, and I am really looking forward to that experience as well.<br />
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To all my friends, new and old: I love you still. I care about your lives, and thank you for having patience with the insanity in mine. I am still learning to be the person God wants me to be.mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-947756427196408222010-09-23T14:46:00.000-07:002010-09-23T14:46:32.458-07:00It's all alrightSorry it's been awhile since I've put anything up here, I don't have any excuses other than a lack of interesting things to report. I still feel about the same: really tired, a bit out of it mentally. I finished the meds and am now waiting for confirmation from the doc that my little friends really are dead. When I went back in to give them a post-med sample I talked with my doc for a few moments and he was surprised to find I wasn't feeling better, but assured me that I did actually have what they treated so this exhaustion is either something else or a slow healing process. We'll see. It's in God's hands.<br />
<br />
In the meantime I have discovered <a href="http://www.radiolab.org/">Radiolab</a> on NPR which is awesome, though I'm also a long-time fan of <a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=35">Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me</a>, another NPR classic. I have been going to a lot of potlucks and ceremonies for my little brothers in Karate and Boy Scouts...my how quickly they grow up! Apparently the Karate teacher had to call a special conference with Mom because of some issues that had arisen during class, namely b.o. These young men need to wear more deodorant. ;) <a href="https://noisetrade.com/index.aspx#">Noisetrade</a> continues to supply me with awesome new music, and I love couches right now. I also really enjoy the great American luxury of putting the toilet paper <i>in</i> the toilet. The pipes down south were too small to accommodate such frivolity, so the trash can next to it was always a bit smelly. It's a small thing, but it still makes me feel cool, like I'm breaking a rule ;)<br />
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I am also finishing sewing a skirt I began a year ago...to be fair though, I am sewing it all by hand (never got the hang of those machines) and I made up the pattern myself (aka am making it up as I go), and am using an old dress (ugly), leftover quilt batting and two torn silk skirts to make it. So for it looks...interesting. I'll post pictures when it's done, but right now I'm just enjoying the process and the challenge of working with such diverse fabrics.<br />
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One of these days, when I have a brain again, I will post something of more substance up here. I have been reflecting on things a lot and on a lot of things in my convalescence but haven't had the energy to explain them just yet...mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-21808281483527712102010-09-09T23:06:00.000-07:002010-09-09T23:06:19.970-07:0023Yesterday was my birthday. It is my father's birthday also (which I think is pretty fun) but I was too tired and dizzy to do anything but lie down. Consequentially the height of our celebrations was that my dad went out and bought frosties from Wendy's for everyone. They were delicious :) I must say that with my family all around me, even sitting by my feet to keep them warm, it was a wonderful day.<div><br />
</div><div>I got the results of my labs today and they all came back fine apparently. Which makes me wonder, why don't I feel better? Is it just the parasites? Is it something else we didn't check for? When I first got back I was feelin' pretty good but I think I over-exerted myself because I feel worse again now. Or could it be the meds themselves? I don't know...I've got another week of meds for the parasites and then I guess if nothing's improved I talk to the doc again. Not that you all care that much, but that's what's up in the health department.</div><div><br />
</div><div>In other news...well, there really isn't any. I'm reading Persuasion again (I don't think it will ever get old) and spending a lot of time on the couch. Things spin when I'm vertical so down is a good direction for me.</div>mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-1609886380369345422010-09-04T22:00:00.000-07:002010-09-04T22:00:55.453-07:00is a title really necessary for a silly little update?Well, I got the meds yesterday afternoon after much pharmacy finagling, and because I am apparently only just being dropped from my parent's health insurance, it ended up being only $30.00: much better than the 500+ I was anticipating. I might have to pay more later if the insurance doesn't go through, and I'm still waiting on a bill from the doctor, but right now I am pretty contented with the course of things. <div><br />
</div><div>I got to visit my sister today in her new digs in Tacoma, she has a lovely roommate and such a sweet little apartment! They live in the upper story of an old house, with lovely wood floors and that delightful old house smell. I kept thinking of Pati's Place in Anne of the Island and I hope they have many happy night studying and gathering with friends there! It was so good to see my sister and spend some time together eating good food :)</div><div><br />
</div><div>Harbor days is this weekend down at the port, so Dad and I went down to look at some boats this evening as the sun was setting. It was soo good to smell the salt! Oh, how I miss that smell every time I go away!</div><div><br />
</div><div>I am still figuring out how I feel about all of this. I needed to come back, that much I know, but I wonder what God's plan is for me...it can grow wearying bouncing around from place to place, but I suppose it is my lot until He calls me to give my life to something. I'm glad it keeps moving, and I'm glad that I am going with God, wherever it is I'm going. I know that He has my hand firmly grasped and as we run through the obscurity of my future, He is leading the way. Oh Love, help me to think less of my way, and more of the people I meet along it! And oh Goodness, help me to be patient!</div><div><br />
</div>mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-42616747547276817802010-09-01T17:18:00.000-07:002010-09-01T17:18:39.859-07:00Hello dears,<br />
I am back in the states. I flew back on Monday after a brief conference with Sister Gloria, the director of the program, and Sor. Pati on Sunday afternoon. We all agreed that since I was not healing there, the time had come to return to my home and seek medical attention here. To that tune I saw my doctor today and he said "You have something, I don't know what it is yet, but you have something." I said "Good, I'm glad to hear this isn't the new normal." I had some tests done and he was going to talk to a colleague who apparently does most of the parasite work in town so hopefully we will know soon what seems to be causing my symptoms.<br />
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Throughout all of this though, I have only felt the greatest peace and joy in our Lord. I love the people and where I was working in El Salvador, but I know that right now he wants me to be right here to do some healing. After this...who knows?<br />
<br />
News break: I just got off the phone with the doctor's office and the colleague agrees that I have an acute amoeba blah blah infection which needs to be treated or it could turn into a liver infection. The meds will take two weeks, after which I will have to produce a clean sample. So I guess I know I'll be here for two weeks!<br />
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Oh Lord, to you I entrust my entire being, all that I am, knowing with total confidence that you are my Lord and you will care for me and lead me forward in the best way and according to your holy will. I surrender the desire to know anything else to you.<br />
<br />
God bless you friends, wherever you are, God bless you.mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-52497089608159678442010-08-27T13:27:00.000-07:002010-08-27T13:27:28.635-07:00Sad dayWell, I'm not well. <div><br />
</div><div>Day 9 of this infirmity is upon us...my parents sent me a box with some stuff that might help, so hopefully that will be here by Monday or Tuesday. In the meantime, I'm just praying and sleeping and spending time here in the blogosphere.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Something sad has happened today. My friend Gilma (pronounced Hilma) is leaving. She is one of the girls who lives up here in the "tower" (the rooms above the chapel) with me. She is such a sweet girl, she was the first one to reach out to me when I got here, and she was always so patient with my Spanish, teaching me new words and explaining tenses. I ran into her this morning and she had tears down her face. Last weekend she and Violetta, the girl who more or less runs the bakery, went out for the day. Gilma got her tongue pierced, as well as her upper ear. Violetta got her nose pierced. The sisters just figured it out today and told Gilma she has to leave. There is no other reason, just the piercings. I think Violetta will stay because they can't replace her as easily...she is getting married in the chapel here in December...I hope they'll still let her.</div><div><br />
</div><div>I was so shocked at first. I couldn't believe it. In one fell swoop she lost her work and the place that has been her home for the last 6 or 7 months. Over a tongue piercing. I get the sense there is some greater cultural significance to these piercings than in the states...but then, maybe not. A girl got her title revoked as one of the "princesses" of my hometown because she "wore too many earrings." I just don't get it. I think about my own upper-ear piercing with its bright orange stone. All of the girls here noticed it immediately, though it took my college roommates a whole year to see. I wonder why the sisters didn't say anything to me about it? Does it bother them? Why?</div><div><br />
</div><div>I definitely don't agree with this decision, and I can think of quite a few scripture passages to back me up, but I'm not going to say anything to the sisters about it. Both because my attitude from the beginning has been to respect the sisters and just do as they ask, and because I don't fully understand the culture or their reasons for what they do. One day a couple of weeks ago the little girls were putting beads in their hair, and my hair, and bracelets on our ankles, pretending to be Shakira from Waka Waka. Another girl walked by and made a comment about how we shouldn't put the bracelets on our ankles because it meant ______ (something that I didn't understand). The girls kind of shrugged it off saying it was just for the game, and dear sister Rosita was there observing the whole thing and didn't say anything. </div><div><br />
</div><div>I don't know what kind of ideas or cultural signals they have for "wild" women, which is why I'm not going to get in an argument about it. I do know that they take sin Very seriously here. Only about a third (a very generous estimate) of the congregation receives communion on a given Sunday because they are "sinners" as the girls explained to me. After the bad word incident that I mentioned earlier, one of the girls asked me why I received communion, and told me I shouldn't have and I needed to go to confession. [Gah! Which to explain first? That it wasn't a sin because I had no idea what I was saying? That all our venial sins (not-serious sins or grave ones committed without knowledge of its evil or without full consciousness) are forgiven us a the moment we consume the host (as well as at the beginning of the mass)? Or that we are all in fact sinners, <i>always</i>, and need the grace and mercy of the Eucharist in our battle against our little/venial sins, as so many saints have attested, advocating for frequent communion?] Sinfulness is definitely really big in this culture. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Another thing I know is Gilma. And I know she is not just a great person, but a mature one, not promiscuous or a partier (she couldn't be anyway, living here), just a bit silly sometimes. And I know she just thought it was cool and cute to have a charm in her tongue. Whatever they think it represents, I know she didn't have that intention. </div><div><br />
</div><div>"Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you." -Luke 6:37-8</div><div><br />
</div><div>Lord, may I remember these words and not judge any of the people in this situation, not knowing their hearts or motives fully!</div><div><br />
</div><div>I gave Gilma my rosary. I know God will be with her, wherever she goes. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Blessed be God forever! In that which is good and that which is difficult! Praise be His holy name and may all people find rest and consolation in His Sacred Heart. Amen.</div>mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-74454607510606333172010-08-24T10:54:00.000-07:002010-08-24T10:54:25.023-07:00Guess how I feel today?!So since I'm lying in bed with a computer in front of me I thought I might as well update all of you on my very-exciting medical drama. I feel a little bit better today. So much so that on the way back to my room after breakfast I did a little dance in front of the Jesus picture in the foyer. Okay so it wasn't much of a dance, I just sort of moved my mid-section from side to side a bit, but it was sort of a happy little "hey, look, I'm moving" moment. All of that jubilation made me pretty tired so I went back to bed :P<br />
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Also, I would like to take this moment to thank Jesus for being so awesome. He is really ridiculously good to me. This morning at breakfast I was like "Lord, I would really like to talk to my mom today. I know you're all powerful and stuff so you can totally make it happen if you want, just sayin'. If it's for your greater glory, I'd really love to hear from her. Seriously. Okay, I'm done being needy now. Just kidding, I'm never done being needy. But you're so awesome, it's okay." And when I got to my computer this morning, guess who I had an email from? Catholic.org informing me that the saint of the day is St. Bartholomew, AND my Mom. :) Seriously, so good. I way do not deserve as much attention as He gives me. Especially since I've been sick and I pretty much talk to Him all day. I'm amazed that He doesn't get tired of my conversation; He always answers me.<br />
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I super duper love Jesus. He's just That good All the time.<br />
<br />
Which brings me to a rather deep and important subject that I have been meaning to address but that possibly I should not tackle in my current state. Should I? I will. My dear Jesus please aid me to speak this well.<br />
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God is so good. When I press into Him, I always feel His presence and His Sacred Heart warms my fears and melts away all of my little anxieties. His care for my life is so great, so detailed and so large, I need fear nothing. I am doing service work here in El Salvador, encountering a different standard of living (which is still nothing like what Monica's dealing with in Haiti <a href="http://allfortheimmaculata.wordpress.com/">http://allfortheimmaculata.wordpress.com/</a>) and I have to reconcile daily His great love with the the life stories of people I encounter.<br />
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People say, if there is an all-powerful God, and He is so good, then why do so many people suffer? This is a three part question: Is there a God? Is he good? Why do people suffer? The third part being contingent on one of the other parts being false if we accept the traditional premise that suffering is inherently bad and to be avoided at all costs. Essentially it tries to set up the following: either God is not good, or He is not all-powerful, or there is no God, because we must reject the whole notion of God "as presented" due to the reality of suffering.<br />
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Why do people suffer? Is this question really asking why suffering exists, or why it seem so much worse for some people and not others? Mainly, those emaciated children we see on tv...<br />
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We all suffer. Let's face it. The suffering of some is more public than that of others, but none escape it. And the friends I have who have lost their fathers or their husbands, can I compare their suffering with people who are homeless? Of course not. And what of my mother's battle with cancer several years ago? Or my own constant battle with depression? Is there some kind of suffering scale that says: "Okay, you're life is bad, but yours, yeah, yours really sucks. That's just too horrible. No person should have to go through that." But they do. And it does suck.<br />
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I don't know about some kind of scale for suffering, but I do know that when your in it, it just hurts. It doesn't really matter how public or private it is, it's just painful. But here is the good news: nothing we have experienced in our lives can compare to the suffering and death of our Lord Jesus Christ. He took on our humanity, not just in the general sense, but in a very specific sense. He took on your humanity, He took on mine. Every suffering and trial that I have ever experienced in my life, he too has experienced, by virtue of my humanity which He took on long ago. And He took all of those struggles and he crucified them with himself on the cross. And then He rose again. Amen.<br />
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The cross isn't the end. It never is. God is good. When we see somebody suffering, does it mean that somehow God doesn't have a plan for that person's life? That He is not so great and all-powerful that He cannot see them through that to a greater and brighter future, strengthened perhaps but the suffering they have endured? The problem with the question, "if God is all-powerful, and good, then why does suffering exist?" is two-fold: it doubts from the outset the very premise it sets by failing to recognize that God, in his all-powerful nature, is perfectly capable of resurrecting the suffering in every person's life and transforming it into something beautiful and holy, and that secondly, it claims to know how life "should be" (aka devoid of suffering). It sees no value in suffering, which I will talk about in a moment. God IS all-powerful, He is there in other people's suffering and He can transform it into beauty, strength, virtue and holiness if we allow Him to. He <b>does</b> have a plan for every person we see in despair, not just for those in our church groups and personal friends. He is present in the suffering and in the walk of all. Even those who we see on the street, feeling that we could never handle suffering <i>that</i> great (on this imaginary pain scale that we have created) and whose total separation from our experience, in other words, our self-perpetuated ignorance of their situation by our failure to get involved in it, creates that deep sense of guilt and sorrow that someone should have to deal with "that," mostly because <b>we</b> don't want to know it.<br />
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If God did not see value in suffering, then why would he allow His own son, His only beloved son, to be born into such poverty? Why would he choose an unwed tween to be His mother? Why would he allow Him to suffer the death of a parent in young life and wander homeless for three years? Why would he allow His friends to stab Him in the back and deny Him? Why would He allow Him to be brutally tortured, mocked and crucified?<br />
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Perhaps, you say, there is value in Christ suffering, but now that He has, what is the point in all the rest of us suffering? If you have children, have you ever spanked them? Have you ever given them a time out? Have you ever seen a child you wish someone would discipline? Have you ever seen an adult you wish someone would discipline? It is clear that a little suffering is necessary for all of us to become the best versions of ourselves.<br />
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This is not to say that suffering is a punishment, but rather a process necessary for our growth in selflessness. Did Christ not say "take up your cross and follow me?" Rather than "I already carried the cross, just hang onto the back of my robe and we're gonna all be peachy?" We still have original sin to contend with folks: that innate inherited tendency to turn away from God's providence. To not trust Him. To look out for ourselves. To be selfish. We ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and now, we know evil. Through suffering, <i><b>if used well</b></i>, we gain the strength of character to master ourselves, and be a source of less suffering and more grace to others.<br />
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This is the point. Being a source of more grace, of more Godliness in the world. It is vital that we reach out to those who are suffering and show them the love and mercy of selfless giving. Christ is very clear about this. We are not to use the benefits of suffering as an excuse to not help others. But we are also not to despair that the mercy of God is not real because suffering exists.<br />
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I have much more to learn in the school of suffering, but I think the following sums up my feelings about suffering with regards to social justice fairly well:<br />
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If you see someone who is hungry, don't feel sorry for them and don't feel guilty that you have food. <i>Just give them your food. </i><br />
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In this way, you solve the problem of your guilt and their hunger and provide an opportunity for you to grow through the fruits of sacrifice. For all you Catholics: this is what we have lent for.<br />
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Do not curse God for the blessings you have in your life just because someone else does not have them. You do not know what blessings they have in their life. Do not curse God for the sufferings you have in your life because someone else does not have them. You do not know what sufferings they have. Let all be blessings.<br />
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Here's my favorite rapper on the subject (a franciscan priest who lives and works in the bronx) check it out, you won't be sorry:<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jgozHjvjGY">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jgozHjvjGY</a><br />
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And here's some words from the book of Malachi to finish things off: this was what I read in my bible last night: "You have wearied the Lord with your words. Yet you say, 'How have we wearied him?' By saying, 'All who do evil are good in the sight of the Lord, and he delights in them.' Or by asking, 'Where is the God of Justice?'" (Mal 2:17)<br />
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Moral relativism is not the answer to the guilt. Neither is chasing a bottom-up (from us to God) notion of what's "fair." May it all be for God and through God according to His good pleasure. Amen.<br />
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Okay, one final final thought: Christ lived this human life to die, so that we could die this human life to live. He lived into death, we die into life. What dies is our "flesh," our humanity, our tendency towards sin. What lives is God, the Holy Spirit he has sent to be with each of us, that we received at our baptism (our new birth), and that we must always live more into.<br />
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Live in the Spirit friends, and you will always be in love.mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-30181228163817092532010-08-23T08:54:00.000-07:002010-08-23T08:54:59.172-07:00Mr. yuck-faceI finally started taking my medicine today, as it was locked in my room all weekend, which I was locked out of. The door here is a bit picky at times and my key only works when the lock is facing a certain direction, which is not usually a problem because my key won't even exit the lock unless it is that direction. But there are two other girls who live up here and the other girl's key is a bit more functional. When she left this weekend she shut the door all the way and guess what, the lock was facing the wrong way. It's okay folks, there was another bed in the infirmary, which is really a little room inside of the library. So I got to browse different books which was nice. It also shared a wall with the outside, right next to the "highway" down which cars drive with constant pressure on the horn at around 4 in the morning: not so nice. <div><br />
</div><div>Every morning Sor. Pati asks me how I feel. "Better?" she says with such hope in her voice. "No" I always answer with this sort of half smile that (hopefully) says "I'm sorry, I wish it weren't true." Hopefully now that I'm taking the medicine things will start to improve. I think the sisters are getting a little tired of my being sick, but who can blame them, all I do is eat their food and sleep all day. Getting up and walking down to the kitchen to get something to eat pretty much wipes me out. After a couple more hours of sleep I might have enough energy to sit up and read a book or something really strenuous like that. I've never had mono, but I imagine it would feel sort of like this.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Sor. told me that they're gonna take me to the doctor again this afternoon...not really sure why, the medicine won't have had any time to do anything, but we'll see I guess. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Warning: at this point I am going to describe my symptoms and I will be using the word "diarrhea." If that disturbs you, read no further. If on the other hand you are a medical type person (aunt cathy, mom, uncle mark?), I would love to hear your thoughts on all of this so that I have some idea what kind of recovery time I'm looking at and why exactly I don't have any energy. </div><div><br />
</div><div>I think the general idea is that I am dehydrated because of the diarrhea, but to be honest I only have that about twice a day and I'm drinking about a liter and a half to two liters a day of water and eating normal meals. Yesterday for lunch I had <i>two</i> bowls of chicken soup (with a lot of vegetables), two rolls with fake maple syrup, and two tostadas with peanut butter and more fms. Nothing to sneeze at right? I also drink a glass of Ensure and this re-hydration stuff made for people who get diarrhea in the tropics every day. I can see dehydration being related to the dizziness when I walk, but the complete lack of energy? Is that the bacteria doing some kind of gut voodoo? I've had the anemia since college so I am disinclined to give it too much credit for any of this. I don't know what kind of bacteria I have or what kind of amoebas, but, like I said before (I think) it's not really a problem as long as I'm laying down. I just sleep. A lot.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Being sick does seem to have helped my image with the girls, there are only a couple of hold-outs who are still very much forcing their smiles. One of the girls has been telling me I'm a sinner because of some gossip she heard that I said a bad word. It might be true as I don't know what words are bad in Spanish. [In fact, if someone would like to send me a list of bad words in Spanish and their meanings, I would be much obliged.] If you know me, you know I'm not much of a swearer, so the whole thing is a little comical to me. I wonder if she thinks I'm being punished by God right now. : p </div><div><br />
</div><div>Okay, that's enough for now. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the energy crisis. Don't fret, God is totally taking care of me right now! I love you all heaps and oodles and you are in my thoughts and prayers!</div><div>Love,</div><div>Mary</div><div><br />
</div>mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-60941110806653776402010-08-21T11:13:00.000-07:002010-08-21T11:13:00.074-07:00the verdict is in:I've got amoebas <i>and</i> bacteria! Yes! And I'm anemic. Which I knew before from trying to give blood and being tuned away so many times. I was trying to explain to this to Sor. Krim on the way down to the doctor's this morning and she told me that Jesus doesn't want me to give blood, because it's bad for my health. I hung my head in shame.<br />
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I am thinking I will still give blood in the future (shhh! don't tell), they send me emails all the time saying they need my blood type (type O+ which is the universal donor), I just have to eat a lot of iron rich foods beforehand. If you don't give blood regularly, I highly encourage you to: it's relatively painless (after the initial prick you just sit there for half an hour reading your favorite book) and you get cookies afterward :) Life saved. Done. What a great way to spend an hour!<br />
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So at any rate, I have about two weeks of medication to look forward to: first ten days of these florescent yellow pills for the bacteria, then two days of pills for the amoebas and then two days of vitamins. The doctor also told me I need to eat more sugar because it's cheap carbs and I have lost weight since being sick.<br />
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There is this perception here that I don't like sugar. Possibly because I told them something like that at one point, but that's not the point. I do like sugar, just not in the quantity which it is consumed here. There is this pink milk the girls were drinking for awhile in the mornings that literally made me gag. It's supposedly a "health drink" because it's soy milk and they add vitamins and stuff to it, but a quick survey of the nutritional information revealed that it is also 2/3rds sugar. And 'cause that's just not sweet enough, the girl who helps in the kitchen adds about another half a bagful of sugar into the pot.<br />
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Shortly after I got here sister asked me to start helping in the kitchen to help them choose to use less oil, sugar and salt and use more leftovers. I think that's when I started making a lot of enemies. Maybe that's why they hate me? Could all of this go back to "less sugar in the milk please and let's not salt our eggs so much that they taste like the ocean (not even an exaggeration-seriously)?" Oh well, at least the little kids like me. With time, Love conquers all.<br />
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I never did mention that it was at Sister's request I was saying those things...they probably think I'm some spoiled rich kid from "El Norte" who things I can boss them around and tell them how to do things. Except that supervising their chores is pretty much my job here. And food suggestions I make are certainly not because that's how we do it in America, but because it's healthy and the food is going to waste...sigh.<br />
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If you know of any good books online or youtube flics I'd love to hear your suggestions! I think I am going to start reading through the ten commandments in the catechism and hopefully I will emerge from this a better person :)<br />
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with Love,<br />
Marymary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-14968032052924467972010-08-20T15:57:00.000-07:002010-08-20T15:57:36.313-07:00still sick today...I'm still sick today, spending a lot of time sleeping, which is good because it's exactly what my body wants. I've got a fever and am dizzy but mostly I just feel like my body went on vacation and forgot me. I am soooo tired and pretty weak.<br />
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Sor. Krim (she's just as sweet as her name sounds) was going to take me to the doctor today. When she was explaining how far we had to walk I was thinking there was no way I was gonna make it, but hey, let's give it a shot. We set out and ran into the doctor we were going to see before reaching the front door! She was here to pick up her son from the preschool and gave me an examination right there in the school office and wrote me a prescription for blood and stool examinations. Fortunately the clinic was a lot closer so we walked down there and I did my business and then something wonderful happened: I got to eat corn flakes. I love cereal, it's true. Especially honey nut cheerios. I once skipped class for honey nut cheerios...but most of you already knew that because I bring it up pretty much every time I talk about cereal. And in a spirit of full disclosure, the class I skipped was irrigation, in which the professor's math was oft corrected by the students and we were told exactly what questions were going to be on the test, and their answers, beforehand. So it wasn't actually that hardcore...but still. Okay, where was this going? Oh yeah, cornflakes. I had been longing for cornflakes ever since I saw sister buy them at the store, but I could never find the box, or we were out of milk or I didn't have time or some such thing. But today I saw them. They were sitting there on the counter when I came back from the clinic. And we even had milk in the fridge. Oh yes.<br />
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Funny story for the day: I was taking care of business in the sister's restroom when Father walked in on me. Okay, so I forgot to lock the door. I always do, it's a horrible habit that comes from having a lot of girls in your house growing up. So at any rate, I'm sick, sitting there just taking care of things, and all I could think to say was "hola." He yelped, slammed the door and literally ran away. I was not too upset about it, the door was only open for like a millisecond so he couldn't have seen anything, but I felt pretty bad for the guy. That must be pretty embarrassing. So after I got out I went back to the kitchen to finish my food and one of the sisters came in like "where's Father? Have you seen Father." And the other sister was like "No, I don't know where he is." And I just sat there like "Don't mind me, I'm just sittin' here eating fruit."mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-23588407553566431692010-08-18T15:48:00.000-07:002010-08-18T15:48:28.873-07:00sorry it's been awhile...So, I know it's been awhile since I've written, sorry about that. I've got a bit of a fever today so I have some time to catch you up...<br />
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Life is good. It's been a bit crazy around here lately with the festivals for the town's other patron saint, San Rocca (sp?). Every day for the last week there was a mini-parade consisting of a band and one float with the queen of something or other on it. The floats are always taller than the power lines so they have people go in front with tall sticks to lift them up. One of the first days they had all the "queens" on floats pulled by some of the most beautiful cows I have ever seen :) The ladies themselves were dressed up as the goddess of coffee, goddess of agriculture, goddess of fire, etc. My first thought was "how pagan." hehe. The girls love these little parades and we all rush to the door to watch and they ooh and ahh...by Sunday some of them were getting tired of it but for the most part it stayed exciting for them. Monday was the actual feast day so we had a big mass in the morning and there was another procession at night, this time it was MUCH bigger though. All the queens (like 15 or so) were there and they had a sound system in a truck and we prayed the rosary as we went. Of course they didn't formally close any of the streets so at one point we had to wait for a semi to back down the hill, in the dark, while the band kept playing in front of them. Classic.<br />
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Unfortunately I didn't make it to the Sounders game :( I really wanted to but I asked one of the girls how far Metapan was and she told me 4 hours. I knew there was no way I was ever going to get permission, especially with the animator gone, and by myself. Probably good I didn't go to Metapan because the game was in San Salvador.<br />
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I did however get to visit a couple of the houses of the girls who work in the bakery. The first was up by El Chingo, the volcano, near the border of Guatemala, and her family (13 people) had a couple of cows, coffee, corn, and various other tropical fruits growing right next to their house. While we were there we helped shuck corn and then we cut the skins for tamales and took the corn off the cob. We walked the corn down to a neighbors who had a mill and they ground it for us right there. I think they charged a dollar for the whole basin. We made tortillas (which we had for lunch) and tamales (which we had for dinner). Yum! The tamales here are way better than anything I've had in the states. Not sure why but I think it might be the corn. They have a starchier white corn here that they use for everything...one of my favorite foods is atol which I guess is kind of like grits but made with this corn and usually with cinnamon and sugar.<br />
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The other house I visited last weekend and got to spend the night. The most exciting part was probably that we went dancing at the local club. Keep in mind this was a very small town; we almost got run over by a horse on the way in. The club was a cmu (concrete block) shed with a sound system, fog machine and colored lights. All the music was good, and it felt so good to dance!! Unfortunately there were about twice as many guys as there were girls, and they were pretty into grinding. If there wasn't a girl to dance with, they would grind with another guy, or many others in a pseudo-mosh situation. gross. I made sure there was always enough room for a really really big bible between me and the people I was dancing with. Also, Violetta, the girl I went with, would not let me dance with certain people she deemed "rats" and would periodically come rescue me from creepy old dudes. It was actually pretty funny because if they got too close I would dance farther away from them so they sort of ended up chasing me all over the dance floor. At one point I counted and I was dancing with seven guys at the same time...I think they knew their chances of getting to dance with me were better in a group. If they repeatedly got to close I would cross my arms and go sit down, so after awhile they started trying to hold each other back to give me space which was nice. When that didn't work I pulled out the old kick the person in front, kick the person in back dance move :) I excluded this bit from my recounting of the weekend to the sisters...<br />
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Another highlight was getting into a deep theological discussion with her evangelical grandfather in Spanish over coca-cola and pan dulce...<br />
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It was really cool to see the real living situations of people here outside of the city. Most of the houses are a sort of concrete/mud combo and have a separate little building for cooking (over a fire). Violetta's house had three rooms, two with beds and a central room with tv, stereo, gas stove and wardrobe. I guess it was sort of their living room. The bathrooms are outhouses and the sinks are the same as the concrete wash basins we have here. It was beautiful, but it sort of felt like camping. I wondered what it would be like every day...they don't have to worry about winter weather so there is a lot of stuff we have that would be totally superfluous to them, but they still watch tv and envy what we have. It doesn't help that everyone in Disney movies is about 5 times richer than most folks I know, but the truth is we do have more stuff.<br />
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To what end and purpose to we have all this stuff? Would their lives be better if they had more stuff? Would our lives be better if we had less stuff? Where does it stop being good and holy comfort and start being a distraction from what is good and holy? And furthermore, what good does it serve to have so many people leaving their own countries in pursuit of this stuff? They say in pursuit of work, but I do wonder if there are unspoken stipulations on that work. For example, many of my friends and I have had a hard time finding jobs post-college, but the jack-in-the-box by my parents' was always hiring.<br />
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A few things I know:<br />
Work is important. More than for the money it provides, for the sense of dignity and productivity it imparts and for the ways it keeps us from boredom and idle habits that lead to choices that hurt ourselves, others and our relationship with God. Boredom is the enemy of holiness. Time to yourself is just dandy as long as you already possess the self-discipline to use it well, otherwise it can be a problem. Having said that, I think a self-disciplined person can keep themselves from being bored no matter what: there are always things to think about, prayers to pray, and patience always needs more practicing.<br />
Good food is important. Food that nourishes your body and keeps you in health. <br />
People who care about you are important. Without people to share this journey with, the very daily little adventures, none of it means much. <br />
A place to sleep and sit that protects you from the elements and hopefully is a bit soft.<br />
Intellectual stimulation, from the people, the work, or from books or other sources is important.<br />
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If you've got all of these things in your life, give thanks. If you know someone who doesn't, be the person who cares.mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4803420107461540573.post-50176766993898819672010-08-01T10:37:00.000-07:002010-08-01T10:37:15.516-07:00Donde esta Don Bosco? Aqui, Aqui, Oompa!Oh dear friends,<br />
What a week it has been! Leading up to last weekend I started to feel a bit under the weather again, and ended up in bed for most of Sunday. Saturday we took the girls to Don Bosco the Musical in Santa Anna which was quite the experience. Probably the hottest night of my life. In the sense that the theater was from the late 1800's (guessing) and had no air conditioning. And was packed. And we were on the top floor. And there was acrobatic dancing every 5-8 minutes. The storyline was basically the ministry of Saint Don Bosco (in case you haven't picked up on it yet, he is the founder of the Salesian order and therefore our patron). His work began in Turin, Italy with street youth who were getting into all sorts of mischief as they left their rural families in search of work in the industrializing city. Like many places during the industrial revolution, the working conditions were quite bad, exploitation was high, and crime quickly became a fashionable way to get food and pass the time. The kids caught in that life, separated from the structure and love of their families, easily became entangled in nefarious activities. Don Bosco, a young priest, wanted to keep them out of trouble by occupying their time with games, proper work and prayer, and started an oratory (home/place of gathering for boys) to that effect. His method was reason, religion and loving kindness, and his motto was "Take away everything else, but give me souls." The musical covered his struggles to reach the youth, difficulties getting the oratory recognized/legitimized and his missionary work in, you guessed it, Central America. The costumes included clowns with large smiles stretching across their torsos, scarf-acrobats, demons and people dressed as roses dancing around Mary (among <i>many</i> other things). It was on the whole a really cool play, even though we lost power for about 10 minutes in the middle of it (which oddly elicited more applause than any of the dance numbers)...and they had fireworks shoot off the stage at the end (!). We belted out Don Bosco songs all the way home in the bus ;)<br />
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Sunday was the feast of Saint James, one of the patrons of Chalchuapa, so they had fireworks going off as early as 5:20 in the morning...and the celebrations continued. Around 5 o'clock (pm) I got out of bed and Sydney and I went out with the few girls who wanted to brave the sudden rainstorm to see the procession of Santiago. We brought 2 umbrellas for 6 people. It was not enough. We all got completely drenched, but it was so fun! There were about 20 men carrying a large platform with 2 statues of Saint James, one being the "apostle" style and the other seated on a horse in a white suit, Saint James the "Moor-killer" apparently (oh dear). There was a little kid standing on the float holding an umbrella over one of the statues: it was very cute. I decided I completely love processions; what a beautiful way to witness the faith in public! It looked so difficult to carry that heavy platform (you should have seen them try to turn!) but they carried it all over town, and there were about thirty other men ready to take their place when they got tired. The priest and altar boys led the procession with the crucifix in front and the townspeople followed. How beautiful to express our devotion to God by traipsing about in public in the pouring rain celebrating the people who made our faith possible by their evangelization (stories of Moor-killing aside) and holy lives!<br />
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A few days later Sydney had to return to San Salvador but the girls put on a "good-bye" dance for her that turned into three or four dances (they really like to dance here, I think they actually won a couple of competitions...). It was very sweet.<br />
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The next day was the day of Don Bosco!!! We dressed up in our fancy El Salvador/Don Bosco/Nos Visita t-shirts and headed out in a microbus for Santa Anna. I got smart this time and packed my own toilet paper and soap in my bag and of course ended up not needing them. We lined up on the side of the highway with other Salesian school groups and hundreds of youth in (adorable) uniforms, all waving flags for Don Bosco! They didn't actually close the highway mind you until much later. We watched the truck with his remains drive by and they unloaded it right in front of us. Parts of Don Bosco's body are incorruptible, which means they have not decomposed in the hundred+ years since his death. These parts are contained in a box inside the statue of his body that is conveyed in the glass case. You can watch a youtube video of them taking out his heart on another occasion <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZP3OWtnYL8&feature=related">here</a>. <br />
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One of the local VIDES volunteers was driving the music van and held the mic out the window for our girls to sing the official El Salvador Don Bosco visit 2010 song which you can watch a music video of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PReTblAPbA&feature=related">here</a>. After the remains of Don Bosco were unloaded from the truck, everybody crowded around to process through the city to a Salesian school where we would have mass. We quickly slipped past the Don Bosco and (as far as I know, unintentionally) became part of the parade. The girls waved their flags and alternated the Don Bosco song with Don Bosco cheers all the way to the school. The energy level was so high, there were so many people! Why don't we do this kind of stuff in the states? Mass was a bit warm but it was awesome to see so many people, just in one part of this little country, whose lives had been changed by Don Bosco. I thought of all the struggles he faced with each child, trying to help them make the right decisions for themselves with little character foundation to build on, and how it must have been so hard every night to know that not all of them could be reached. Some would choose violence, desperation and damage to their souls over the love and trust in God that he tried to show them. And I thought of our girls here, and every teenager I have ever worked with, and how very hard it is! They experience so much pain in their hearts and they don't understand why or have hope that it will end just by their getting older. Seeing so many people, and so many youth together to celebrate his life was so moving, God did give him souls after all. Many, many souls.<br />
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There are really too many pictures to post so I am going to start a facebook album, but here's a parting shot of Don Bosco's statue for you:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_-Z3jQqLYoX4/TFWvfnj9LCI/AAAAAAAAAJw/w8P7JDG3F0s/s1600/Donbosco!+(19).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_-Z3jQqLYoX4/TFWvfnj9LCI/AAAAAAAAAJw/w8P7JDG3F0s/s400/Donbosco!+(19).JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
Aside from all that, I am doing quite well here. I love the girls, though they are challenging at times, and I never know what's going to happen next since the sisters don't tell me anything until right before it happens, but it feels right. I know this is where God wants me to be now. So here I am.mary johttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00961591910393247105noreply@blogger.com2