Sorry it's been so long...

Well the truth is it has just been a rather boring couple of months. I've been healing and now feel SO much better and I think cutting gluten out of my diet played a huge role in that. Upon reflection, I think I have probably had problems with it since college and my anemia has steadily been getting worse as a result. At any rate I'm done with the shots and can now run and skip and do lots of fun things.

I have gone on a couple of trips though, I visited my grandparents on the other side of the state and ate the most delicious gluten-free brownie of my life and I also just got back from a come-and-see retreat with the Salesian sisters in LA. That was especially fun because I got to visit some old friends while driving down and back. It's amazing to see people you care about grow in goodness over time and have beautiful life experiences that broaden their perspectives on life without fundamentally changing their quirky wonderful selves. In LA we (my older sister came too) stayed with a childhood friend and played monopoly, which was a staple of her birthday parties when we were young, along with Star Wars marathons and gnawing on gingerbread-Jericho fragments from the traditional birthday cake alternative (in which we would construct a gingerbread house, load candy on the roof and march around the table seven (or more) times blowing loudly on recorders until the house collapsed-so fun). The other two friends we visited were equally magical and nostalgic, as was seeing the postulants whom I had met this summer in VIDES training.

Moving around so much has made it hard for me to figure out how to say goodbye well, so mostly I just don't, believing with all my heart that we will see each other again. I am often pleased to find that this is the case. It's difficult to feel like you are really contributing to the world on some level when you are changing occupations so frequently as different positions expire or the circumstances push you forward, but I just want all of my friends to know that leaving does not mean I don't care, it doesn't mean I'm not still interested in what's going on or who you are becoming, it just means I'm still looking for what God wants me to do on a more permanent basis. I have never desired a normal job in which I will make money to support a quaint yuppie existence; that idea actually horrifies me. I have no desire for the "stuff" of the American dream. I am utterly disillusioned with consumerism and so the means to achieve that lifestyle also has lost all appeal. What is most important to me is that I am doing something meaningful for the world, and though I like seeing new places, moving so much is a side-affect of not being able to find a position that allows me to do that long-term, rather than the goal in itself.

Having said all of that, I have started looking at grad schools in the past few months and have been trying to imagine my life doing one thing for a long time...what would that look like? Now that I know so much more about myself and the world, what sort of things would I be happy doing for-(dare I say)-ever? What is God calling me to? Going to the retreat with the Salesian sisters really helped me to trust God more with my life and stop doubting his plans for me.  I have begun the grad school application process and am excited about what the future holds. I am still heading to Austin, TX in mid-January to finish my year of service with VIDES, and I am really looking forward to that experience as well.

To all my friends, new and old: I love you still. I care about your lives, and thank you for having patience with the insanity in mine. I am still learning to be the person God wants me to be.

It's all alright

Sorry it's been awhile since I've put anything up here, I don't have any excuses other than a lack of interesting things to report. I still feel about the same: really tired, a bit out of it mentally. I finished the meds and am now waiting for confirmation from the doc that my little friends really are dead. When I went back in to give them a post-med sample I talked with my doc for a few moments and he was surprised to find I wasn't feeling better, but assured me that I did actually have what they treated so this exhaustion is either something else or a slow healing process.  We'll see. It's in God's hands.

In the meantime I have discovered Radiolab on NPR which is awesome, though I'm also a long-time fan of Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me, another NPR classic. I have been going to a lot of potlucks and ceremonies for my little brothers in Karate and Boy Scouts...my how quickly they grow up! Apparently the Karate teacher had to call a special conference with Mom because of some issues that had arisen during class, namely b.o. These young men need to wear more deodorant. ;) Noisetrade continues to supply me with awesome new music, and I love couches right now. I also really enjoy the great American luxury of putting the toilet paper in the toilet. The pipes down south were too small to accommodate such frivolity, so the trash can next to it was always a bit smelly. It's a small thing, but it still makes me feel cool, like I'm breaking a rule ;)

I am also finishing sewing a skirt I began a year ago...to be fair though, I am sewing it all by hand (never got the hang of those machines) and I made up the pattern myself (aka am making it up as I go), and am using an old dress (ugly), leftover quilt batting and two torn silk skirts to make it. So for it looks...interesting. I'll post pictures when it's done, but right now I'm just enjoying the process and the challenge of working with such diverse fabrics.

One of these days, when I have a brain again, I will post something of more substance up here. I have been reflecting on things a lot and on a lot of things in my convalescence but haven't had the energy to explain them just yet...

23

Yesterday was my birthday. It is my father's birthday also (which I think is pretty fun) but I was too tired and dizzy to do anything but lie down. Consequentially the height of our celebrations was that my dad went out and bought frosties from Wendy's for everyone. They were delicious :) I must say that with my family all around me, even sitting by my feet to keep them warm, it was a wonderful day.

I got the results of my labs today and they all came back fine apparently. Which makes me wonder, why don't I feel better? Is it just the parasites? Is it something else we didn't check for? When I first got back I was feelin' pretty good but I think I over-exerted myself because I feel worse again now. Or could it be the meds themselves? I don't know...I've got another week of meds for the parasites and then I guess if nothing's improved I talk to the doc again. Not that you all care that much, but that's what's up in the health department.

In other news...well, there really isn't any. I'm reading Persuasion again (I don't think it will ever get old) and spending a lot of time on the couch. Things spin when I'm vertical so down is a good direction for me.

is a title really necessary for a silly little update?

Well, I got the meds yesterday afternoon after much pharmacy finagling, and because I am apparently only just being dropped from my parent's health insurance, it ended up being only $30.00: much better than the 500+ I was anticipating. I might have to pay more later if the insurance doesn't go through, and I'm still waiting on a bill from the doctor, but right now I am pretty contented with the course of things. 

I got to visit my sister today in her new digs in Tacoma, she has a lovely roommate and such a sweet little apartment! They live in the upper story of an old house, with lovely wood floors and that delightful old house smell. I kept thinking of Pati's Place in Anne of the Island and I hope they have many happy night studying and gathering with friends there! It was so good to see my sister and spend some time together eating good food :)

Harbor days is this weekend down at the port, so Dad and I went down to look at some boats this evening as the sun was setting. It was soo good to smell the salt! Oh, how I miss that smell every time I go away!

I am still figuring out how I feel about all of this. I needed to come back, that much I know, but I wonder what God's plan is for me...it can grow wearying bouncing around from place to place, but I suppose it is my lot until He calls me to give my life to something. I'm glad it keeps moving, and I'm glad that I am going with God, wherever it is I'm going. I know that He has my hand firmly grasped and as we run through the obscurity of my future, He is leading the way. Oh Love, help me to think less of my way, and more of the people I meet along it! And oh Goodness, help me to be patient!

Hello dears,
I am back in the states. I flew back on Monday after a brief conference with Sister Gloria, the director of the program, and Sor. Pati on Sunday afternoon. We all agreed that since I was not healing there, the time had come to return to my home and seek medical attention here. To that tune I saw my doctor today and he said "You have something, I don't know what it is yet, but you have something." I said "Good, I'm glad to hear this isn't the new normal." I had some tests done and he was going to talk to a colleague who apparently does most of the parasite work in town so hopefully we will know soon what seems to be causing my symptoms.

Throughout all of this though, I have only felt the greatest peace and joy in our Lord. I love the people and where I was working in El Salvador, but I know that right now he wants me to be right here to do some healing. After this...who knows?

News break: I just got off the phone with the doctor's office and the colleague agrees that I have an acute amoeba blah blah infection which needs to be treated or it could turn into a liver infection. The meds will take two weeks, after which I will have to produce a clean sample. So I guess I know I'll be here for two weeks!

Oh Lord, to you I entrust my entire being, all that I am, knowing with total confidence that you are my Lord and you will care for me and lead me forward in the best way and according to your holy will. I surrender the desire to know anything else to you.

God bless you friends, wherever you are, God bless you.

Sad day

Well, I'm not well. 

Day 9 of this infirmity is upon us...my parents sent me a box with some stuff that might help, so hopefully that will be here by Monday or Tuesday. In the meantime, I'm just praying and sleeping and spending time here in the blogosphere.

Something sad has happened today. My friend Gilma (pronounced Hilma) is leaving. She is one of the girls who lives up here in the "tower" (the rooms above the chapel) with me. She is such a sweet girl, she was the first one to reach out to me when I got here, and she was always so patient with my Spanish, teaching me new words and explaining tenses. I ran into her this morning and she had tears down her face. Last weekend she and Violetta, the girl who more or less runs the bakery, went out for the day. Gilma got her tongue pierced, as well as her upper ear. Violetta got her nose pierced. The sisters just figured it out today and told Gilma she has to leave. There is no other reason, just the piercings. I think Violetta will stay because they can't replace her as easily...she is getting married in the chapel here in December...I hope they'll still let her.

I was so shocked at first. I couldn't believe it. In one fell swoop she lost her work and the place that has been her home for the last 6 or 7 months. Over a tongue piercing. I get the sense there is some greater cultural significance to these piercings than in the states...but then, maybe not. A girl got her title revoked as one of the "princesses" of my hometown because she "wore too many earrings." I just don't get it. I think about my own upper-ear piercing with its bright orange stone. All of the girls here noticed it immediately, though it took my college roommates a whole year to see. I wonder why the sisters didn't say anything to me about it? Does it bother them? Why?

I definitely don't agree with this decision, and I can think of quite a few scripture passages to back me up, but I'm not going to say anything to the sisters about it. Both because my attitude from the beginning has been to respect the sisters and just do as they ask, and because I don't fully understand the culture or their reasons for what they do. One day a couple of weeks ago the little girls were putting beads in their hair, and my hair, and bracelets on our ankles, pretending to be Shakira from Waka Waka. Another girl walked by and made a comment about how we shouldn't put the bracelets on our ankles because it meant ______ (something that I didn't understand). The girls kind of shrugged it off saying it was just for the game, and dear sister Rosita was there observing the whole thing and didn't say anything.  

I don't know what kind of ideas or cultural signals they have for "wild" women, which is why I'm not going to get in an argument about it. I do know that they take sin Very seriously here. Only about a third (a very generous estimate) of the congregation receives communion on a given Sunday because they are "sinners" as the girls explained to me. After the bad word incident that I mentioned earlier, one of the girls asked me why I received communion, and told me I shouldn't have and I needed to go to confession. [Gah! Which to explain first? That it wasn't a sin because I had no idea what I was saying? That all our venial sins (not-serious sins or grave ones committed without knowledge of its evil or without full consciousness) are forgiven us a the moment we consume the host (as well as at the beginning of the mass)? Or that we are all in fact sinners, always, and need the grace and mercy of the Eucharist in our battle against our little/venial sins, as so many saints have attested, advocating for frequent communion?] Sinfulness is definitely really big in this culture. 

Another thing I know is Gilma. And I know she is not just a great person, but a mature one, not promiscuous or a partier (she couldn't be anyway, living here), just a bit silly sometimes. And I know she just thought it was cool and cute to have a charm in her tongue. Whatever they think it represents, I know she didn't have that intention. 

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you." -Luke 6:37-8

Lord, may I remember these words and not judge any of the people in this situation, not knowing their hearts or motives fully!

I gave Gilma my rosary. I know God will be with her, wherever she goes. 

Blessed be God forever! In that which is good and that which is difficult! Praise be His holy name and may all people find rest and consolation in His Sacred Heart. Amen.

Guess how I feel today?!

So since I'm lying in bed with a computer in front of me I thought I might as well update all of you on my very-exciting medical drama. I feel a little bit better today. So much so that on the way back to my room after breakfast I did a little dance in front of the Jesus picture in the foyer. Okay so it wasn't much of a dance, I just sort of moved my mid-section from side to side a bit, but it was sort of a happy little "hey, look, I'm moving" moment. All of that jubilation made me pretty tired so I went back to bed :P

Also, I would like to take this moment to thank Jesus for being so awesome. He is really ridiculously good to me. This morning at breakfast I was like "Lord, I would really like to talk to my mom today. I know you're all powerful and stuff so you can totally make it happen if you want, just sayin'. If it's for your greater glory, I'd really love to hear from her. Seriously. Okay, I'm done being needy now. Just kidding, I'm never done being needy. But you're so awesome, it's okay."  And when I got to my computer this morning, guess who I had an email from? Catholic.org informing me that the saint of the day is St. Bartholomew, AND my Mom. :) Seriously, so good. I way do not deserve as much attention as He gives me. Especially since I've been sick and I pretty much talk to Him all day. I'm amazed that He doesn't get tired of my conversation; He always answers me.

I super duper love Jesus. He's just That good All the time.

Which brings me to a rather deep and important subject that I have been meaning to address but that possibly I should not tackle in my current state. Should I? I will. My dear Jesus please aid me to speak this well.

God is so good. When I press into Him, I always feel His presence and His Sacred Heart warms my fears and melts away all of my little anxieties. His care for my life is so great, so detailed and so large, I need fear nothing. I am doing service work here in El Salvador, encountering a different standard of living (which is still nothing like what Monica's dealing with in Haiti http://allfortheimmaculata.wordpress.com/) and I have to reconcile daily His great love with the the life stories of people I encounter.

People say, if there is an all-powerful God, and He is so good, then why do so many people suffer? This is a three part question: Is there a God? Is he good? Why do people suffer? The third part being contingent on one of  the other parts being false if we accept the traditional premise that suffering is inherently bad and to be avoided at all costs. Essentially it tries to set up the following: either God is not good, or He is not all-powerful, or there is no God, because we must reject the whole notion of God "as presented" due to the reality of suffering.

Why do people suffer? Is this question really asking why suffering exists, or why it seem so much worse for some people and not others? Mainly, those emaciated children we see on tv...

We all suffer. Let's face it. The suffering of some is more public than that of others, but none escape it. And the friends I have who have lost their fathers or their husbands, can I compare their suffering with people who are homeless? Of course not. And what of my mother's battle with cancer several years ago? Or my own constant battle with depression? Is there some kind of suffering scale that says: "Okay, you're life is bad, but yours, yeah, yours really sucks. That's just too horrible. No person should have to go through that." But they do. And it does suck.

I don't know about some kind of scale for suffering, but I do know that when your in it, it just hurts. It doesn't really matter how public or private it is, it's just painful. But here is the good news: nothing we have experienced in our lives can compare to the suffering and death of our Lord Jesus Christ. He took on our humanity, not just in the general sense, but in a very specific sense. He took on your humanity, He took on mine. Every suffering and trial that I have ever experienced in my life, he too has experienced, by virtue of my  humanity which He took on long ago. And He took all of those struggles and he crucified them with himself on the cross. And then He rose again. Amen.

The cross isn't the end. It never is. God is good. When we see somebody suffering, does it mean that somehow God doesn't have a plan for that person's life? That He is not so great and all-powerful that He cannot see them through that to a greater and brighter future, strengthened perhaps but the suffering they have endured? The problem with the question, "if God is all-powerful, and good, then why does suffering exist?" is two-fold: it doubts from the outset the very premise it sets by failing to recognize that God, in his all-powerful nature, is perfectly capable of resurrecting the suffering in every person's life and transforming it into something beautiful and holy, and that secondly, it claims to know how life "should be" (aka devoid of suffering). It sees no value in suffering, which I will talk about in a moment. God IS all-powerful, He is there in other people's suffering and He can transform it into beauty, strength, virtue and holiness if we allow Him to. He does have a plan for every person we see in despair, not just for those in our church groups and personal friends. He is present in the suffering and in the walk of all. Even those who we see on the street, feeling that we could never handle suffering that great (on this imaginary pain scale that we have created) and whose total separation from our experience, in other words, our self-perpetuated ignorance of their situation by our failure to get involved in it, creates that deep sense of guilt and sorrow that someone should have to deal with "that," mostly because we don't want to know it.

If God did not see value in suffering, then why would he allow His own son, His only beloved son, to be born into such poverty? Why would he choose an unwed tween to be His mother? Why would he allow Him to suffer the death of a parent in young life and wander homeless for three years? Why would he allow His friends to stab Him in the back and deny Him? Why would He allow Him to be brutally tortured, mocked and crucified?

Perhaps, you say, there is value in Christ suffering, but now that He has, what is the point in all the rest of us suffering? If you have children, have you ever spanked them? Have you ever given them a time out? Have you ever seen a child you wish someone would discipline? Have you ever seen an adult you wish someone would discipline? It is clear that a little suffering is necessary for all of us to become the best versions of ourselves.

This is not to say that suffering is a punishment, but rather a process necessary for our growth in selflessness. Did Christ not say "take up your cross and follow me?" Rather than "I already carried the cross, just hang onto the back of my robe and we're gonna all be peachy?"  We still have original sin to contend with folks: that innate inherited tendency to turn away from God's providence. To not trust Him. To look out for ourselves. To be selfish. We ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and now, we know evil. Through suffering, if used well, we gain the strength of character to master ourselves, and be a source of less suffering and more grace to others.

This is the point. Being a source of more grace, of more Godliness in the world. It is vital that we reach out to those who are suffering and show them the love and mercy of selfless giving. Christ is very clear about this. We are not to use the benefits of suffering as an excuse to not help others. But we are also not to despair that the mercy of God is not real because suffering exists.

I have much more to learn in the school of suffering, but I think the following sums up my feelings about suffering with regards to social justice fairly well:

If you see someone who is hungry, don't feel sorry for them and don't feel guilty that you have food. Just give them your food. 

In this way, you solve the problem of your guilt and their hunger and provide an opportunity for you to grow through the fruits of sacrifice. For all you Catholics: this is what we have lent for.

Do not curse God for the blessings you have in your life just because someone else does not have them. You do not know what blessings they have in their life. Do not curse God for the sufferings you have in your life because someone else does not have them. You do not know what sufferings they have. Let all be blessings.

Here's my favorite rapper on the subject (a franciscan priest who lives and works in the bronx) check it out, you won't be sorry:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jgozHjvjGY

And here's some words from the book of Malachi to finish things off: this was what I read in my bible last night: "You have wearied the Lord with your words. Yet you say, 'How have we wearied him?' By saying, 'All who do evil are good in the sight of the Lord, and he delights in them.' Or by asking, 'Where is the God of Justice?'" (Mal 2:17)

Moral relativism is not the answer to the guilt. Neither is chasing a bottom-up (from us to God) notion of what's "fair." May it all be for God and through God according to His good pleasure. Amen.

Okay, one final final thought: Christ lived this human life to die, so that we could die this human life to live. He lived into death, we die into life. What dies is our "flesh," our humanity, our tendency towards sin. What lives is God, the Holy Spirit he has sent to be with each of us, that we received at our baptism (our new birth), and that we must always live more into.

Live in the Spirit friends, and you will always be in love.

Mr. yuck-face

I finally started taking my medicine today, as it was locked in my room all weekend, which I was locked out of. The door here is a bit picky at times and my key only works when the lock is facing a certain direction, which is not usually a problem because my key won't even exit the lock unless it is that direction. But there are two other girls who live up here and the other girl's key is a bit more functional. When she left this weekend she shut the door all the way and guess what, the lock was facing the wrong way.  It's okay folks, there was another bed in the infirmary, which is really a little room inside of the library. So I got to browse different books which was nice. It also shared a wall with the outside, right next to the "highway" down which cars drive with constant pressure on the horn at around 4 in the morning: not so nice. 

Every morning Sor. Pati asks me how I feel. "Better?" she says with such hope in her voice. "No" I always answer with this sort of half smile that (hopefully) says "I'm sorry, I wish it weren't true." Hopefully now that I'm taking the medicine things will start to improve.  I think the sisters are getting a little tired of my being sick, but who can blame them, all I do is eat their food and sleep all day. Getting up and walking down to the kitchen to get something to eat pretty much wipes me out. After a couple more hours of sleep I might have enough energy to sit up and read a book or something really strenuous like that. I've never had mono, but I imagine it would feel sort of like this.

Sor. told me that they're gonna take me to the doctor again this afternoon...not really sure why, the medicine won't have had any time to do anything, but we'll see I guess. 

Warning: at this point I am going to describe my symptoms and I will be using the word "diarrhea." If that disturbs you, read no further. If on the other hand you are a medical type person (aunt cathy, mom, uncle mark?), I would love to hear your thoughts on all of this so that I have some idea what kind of recovery time I'm looking at and why exactly I don't have any energy. 

I think the general idea is that I am dehydrated because of the diarrhea, but to be honest I only have that about twice a day and I'm drinking about a liter and a half to two liters a day of water and eating normal meals. Yesterday for lunch I had two bowls of chicken soup (with a lot of vegetables), two rolls with fake maple syrup, and two tostadas with peanut butter and more fms. Nothing to sneeze at right? I also drink a glass of Ensure and this re-hydration stuff made for people who get diarrhea in the tropics every day. I can see dehydration being related to the dizziness when I walk, but the complete lack of energy? Is that the bacteria doing some kind of gut voodoo? I've had the anemia since college so I am disinclined to give it too much credit for any of this. I don't know what kind of bacteria I have or what kind of amoebas, but, like I said before (I think) it's not really a problem as long as I'm laying down. I just sleep. A lot.

Being sick does seem to have helped my image with the girls, there are only a couple of hold-outs who are still very much forcing their smiles. One of the girls has been telling me I'm a sinner because of some gossip she heard that I said a bad word. It might be true as I don't know what words are bad in Spanish.  [In fact, if someone would like to send me a list of bad words in Spanish and their meanings, I would be much obliged.] If you know me, you know I'm not much of a swearer, so the whole thing is a little comical to me. I wonder if she thinks I'm being punished by God right now. : p  

Okay, that's enough for now. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the energy crisis. Don't fret, God is totally taking care of me right now! I love you all heaps and oodles and you are in my thoughts and prayers!

Love,

Mary

the verdict is in:

I've got amoebas and bacteria! Yes! And I'm anemic. Which I knew before from trying to give blood and being tuned away so many times. I was trying to explain to this to Sor. Krim on the way down to the doctor's this morning and she told me that Jesus doesn't want me to give blood, because it's bad for my health. I hung my head in shame.

I am thinking I will still give blood in the future (shhh! don't tell), they send me emails all the time saying they need my blood type (type O+ which is the universal donor), I just have to eat a lot of iron rich foods beforehand. If you don't give blood regularly, I highly encourage you to: it's relatively painless (after the initial prick you just sit there for half an hour reading your favorite book) and you get cookies afterward :) Life saved. Done. What a great way to spend an hour!

So at any rate, I have about two weeks of medication to look forward to: first ten days of these florescent yellow pills for the bacteria, then two days of pills for the amoebas and then two days of vitamins. The doctor also told me I need to eat more sugar because it's cheap carbs and I have lost weight since being sick.

There is this perception here that I don't like sugar. Possibly because I told them something like that at one point, but that's not the point. I do like sugar, just not in the quantity which it is consumed here. There is this pink milk the girls were drinking for awhile in the mornings that literally made me gag. It's supposedly a "health drink" because it's soy milk and they add vitamins and stuff to it, but a quick survey of the nutritional information revealed that it is also 2/3rds sugar. And 'cause that's just not sweet enough, the girl who helps in the kitchen adds about another half a bagful of sugar into the pot.

Shortly after I got here sister asked me to start helping in the kitchen to help them choose to use less oil, sugar and salt and use more leftovers. I think that's when I started making a lot of enemies. Maybe that's why they hate me? Could all of this go back to "less sugar in the milk please and let's not salt our eggs so much that they taste like the ocean (not even an exaggeration-seriously)?" Oh well, at least the little kids like me. With time, Love conquers all.

I never did mention that it was at Sister's request I was saying those things...they probably think I'm some spoiled rich kid from "El Norte" who things I can boss them around and tell them how to do things. Except that supervising their chores is pretty much my job here. And food suggestions I make are certainly not because that's how we do it in America, but because it's healthy and the food is going to waste...sigh.

If you know of any good books online or youtube flics I'd love to hear your suggestions! I think I am going to start reading through the ten commandments in the catechism and hopefully I will emerge from this a better person :)

with Love,
Mary

still sick today...

I'm still sick today, spending a lot of time sleeping, which is good because it's exactly what my body wants. I've got a fever and am dizzy but mostly I just feel like my body went on vacation and forgot me. I am soooo tired and pretty weak.

Sor. Krim (she's just as sweet as her name sounds) was going to take me to the doctor today. When she was explaining how far we had to walk I was thinking there was no way I was gonna make it, but hey, let's give it a shot. We set out and ran into the doctor we were going to see before reaching the front door! She was here to pick up her son from the preschool and gave me an examination right there in the school office and wrote me a prescription for blood and stool examinations.  Fortunately the clinic was a lot closer so we walked down there and I did my business and then something wonderful happened: I got to eat corn flakes. I love cereal, it's true. Especially honey nut cheerios. I once skipped class for honey nut cheerios...but most of you already knew that because I bring it up pretty much every time I talk about cereal. And in a spirit of full disclosure, the class I skipped was irrigation, in which the professor's math was oft corrected by the students and we were told exactly what questions were going to be on the test, and their answers, beforehand.  So it wasn't actually that hardcore...but still. Okay, where was this going? Oh yeah, cornflakes. I had been longing for cornflakes ever since I saw sister buy them at the store, but I could never find the box, or we were out of milk or I didn't have time or some such thing. But today I saw them. They were sitting there on the counter when I came back from the clinic. And we even had milk in the fridge. Oh yes.

Funny story for the day: I was taking care of business in the sister's restroom when Father walked in on me. Okay, so I forgot to lock the door. I always do, it's a horrible habit that comes from having a lot of girls in your house growing up. So at any rate, I'm sick, sitting there just taking care of things, and all I could think to say was "hola." He yelped, slammed the door and literally ran away. I was not too upset about it, the door was only open for like a millisecond so he couldn't have seen anything, but I felt pretty bad for the guy. That must be pretty embarrassing. So after I got out I went back to the kitchen to finish my food and one of the sisters came in like "where's Father? Have you seen Father." And the other sister was like "No, I don't know where he is." And I just sat there like "Don't mind me, I'm just sittin' here eating fruit."

sorry it's been awhile...

So, I know it's been awhile since I've written, sorry about that. I've got a bit of a fever today so I have some time to catch you up...

Life is good. It's been a bit crazy around here lately with the festivals for the town's other patron saint, San Rocca (sp?). Every day for the last week there was a mini-parade consisting of a band and one float with the queen of something or other on it. The floats are always taller than the power lines so they have people go in front with tall sticks to lift them up. One of the first days they had all the "queens" on floats pulled by some of the most beautiful cows I have ever seen :) The ladies themselves were dressed up as the goddess of coffee, goddess of agriculture, goddess of fire, etc. My first thought was "how pagan." hehe.  The girls love these little parades and we all rush to the door to watch and they ooh and ahh...by Sunday some of them were getting tired of it but for the most part it stayed exciting for them. Monday was the actual feast day so we had a big mass in the morning and there was another procession at night, this time it was MUCH bigger though. All the queens (like 15 or so) were there and they had a sound system in a truck and we prayed the rosary as we went. Of course they didn't formally close any of the streets so at one point we had to wait for a semi to back down the hill, in the dark, while the band kept playing in front of them. Classic.

Unfortunately I didn't make it to the Sounders game :( I really wanted to but I asked one of the girls how far Metapan was and she told me 4 hours. I knew there was no way I was ever going to get permission, especially with the animator gone, and by myself. Probably good I didn't go to Metapan because the game was in San Salvador.

I did however get to visit a couple of the houses of the girls who work in the bakery. The first was up by El Chingo, the volcano, near the border of Guatemala, and her family (13 people) had a couple of cows, coffee, corn, and various other tropical fruits growing right next to their house. While we were there we helped shuck corn and then we cut the skins for tamales and took the corn off the cob. We walked the corn down to a neighbors who had a mill and they ground it for us right there. I think they charged a dollar for the whole basin. We made tortillas (which we had for lunch) and tamales (which we had for dinner).  Yum! The tamales here are way better than anything I've had in the states. Not sure why but I think it might be the corn. They have a starchier white corn here that they use for everything...one of my favorite foods is atol which I guess is kind of like grits but made with this corn and usually with cinnamon and sugar.

The other house I visited last weekend and got to spend the night. The most exciting part was probably that we went dancing at the local club. Keep in mind this was a very small town; we almost got run over by a horse on the way in. The club was a cmu (concrete block) shed with a sound system, fog machine and colored lights. All the music was good, and it felt so good to dance!! Unfortunately there were about twice as many guys as there were girls, and they were pretty into grinding. If there wasn't a girl to dance with, they would grind with another guy, or many others in a pseudo-mosh situation. gross. I made sure there was always enough room for a really really big bible between me and the people I was dancing with. Also, Violetta, the girl I went with, would not let me dance with certain people she deemed "rats" and would periodically come rescue me from creepy old dudes. It was actually pretty funny because if they got too close I would dance farther away from them so they sort of ended up chasing me all over the dance floor. At one point I counted and I was dancing with seven guys at the same time...I think they knew their chances of getting to dance with me were better in a group. If they repeatedly got to close I would cross my arms and go sit down, so after awhile they started trying to hold each other back to give me space which was nice. When that didn't work I pulled out the old kick the person in front, kick the person in back dance move :) I excluded this bit from my recounting of the weekend to the sisters...

Another highlight was getting into a deep theological discussion with her evangelical grandfather in Spanish over coca-cola and pan dulce...

It was really cool to see the real living situations of people here outside of the city. Most of the houses are a sort of concrete/mud combo and have a separate little building for cooking (over a fire). Violetta's house had three rooms, two with beds and a central room with tv, stereo, gas stove and wardrobe. I guess it was sort of their living room.  The bathrooms are outhouses and the sinks are the same as the concrete wash basins we have here. It was beautiful, but it sort of felt like camping. I wondered what it would be like every day...they don't have to worry about winter weather so there is a lot of stuff we have that would be totally superfluous to them, but they still watch tv and envy what we have. It doesn't help that everyone in Disney movies is about 5 times richer than most folks I know, but the truth is we do have more stuff.

To what end and purpose to we have all this stuff? Would their lives be better if they had more stuff? Would our lives be better if we had less stuff? Where does it stop being good and holy comfort and start being a distraction from what is good and holy? And furthermore, what good does it serve to have so many people leaving their own countries in pursuit of this stuff? They say in pursuit of work, but I do wonder if there are unspoken stipulations on that work. For example, many of my friends and I have had a hard time finding jobs post-college, but the jack-in-the-box by my parents' was always hiring.

A few things I know:
   Work is important. More than for the money it provides, for the sense of dignity and productivity it imparts and for the ways it keeps us from boredom and idle habits that lead to choices that hurt ourselves, others and our relationship with God. Boredom is the enemy of holiness. Time to yourself is just dandy as long as you already possess the self-discipline to use it well, otherwise it can be a problem. Having said that, I think a self-disciplined person can keep themselves from being bored no matter what: there are always things to think about, prayers to pray, and patience always needs more practicing.
   Good food is important. Food that nourishes your body and keeps you in health.
   People who care about you are important.  Without people to share this journey with, the very daily little adventures, none of it means much.
   A place to sleep and sit that protects you from the elements and hopefully is a bit soft.
   Intellectual stimulation, from the people, the work, or from books or other sources is important.

If you've got all of these things in your life, give thanks. If you know someone who doesn't, be the person who cares.

Donde esta Don Bosco? Aqui, Aqui, Oompa!

Oh dear friends,
What a week it has been! Leading up to last weekend I started to feel a bit under the weather again, and ended up in bed for most of Sunday. Saturday we took the girls to Don Bosco the Musical in Santa Anna which was quite the experience. Probably the hottest night of my life. In the sense that the theater was from the late 1800's (guessing) and had no air conditioning. And was packed. And we were on the top floor. And there was acrobatic dancing every 5-8 minutes. The storyline was basically the ministry of Saint Don Bosco (in case you haven't picked up on it yet, he is the founder of the Salesian order and therefore our patron). His work began in Turin, Italy with street youth who were getting into all sorts of mischief as they left their rural families in search of work in the industrializing city. Like many places during the industrial revolution, the working conditions were quite bad, exploitation was high, and crime quickly became a fashionable way to get food and pass the time. The kids caught in that life, separated from the structure and love of their families, easily became entangled in nefarious activities. Don Bosco, a young priest, wanted to keep them out of trouble by occupying their time with games, proper work and prayer, and started an oratory (home/place of gathering for boys) to that effect. His method was reason, religion and loving kindness, and his motto was "Take away everything else, but give me souls." The musical covered his struggles to reach the youth, difficulties getting the oratory recognized/legitimized and his missionary work in, you guessed it, Central America. The costumes included clowns with large smiles stretching across their torsos, scarf-acrobats, demons and people dressed as roses dancing around Mary (among many other things). It was on the whole a really cool play, even though we lost power for about 10 minutes in the middle of it (which oddly elicited more applause than any of the dance numbers)...and they had fireworks shoot off the stage at the end (!). We belted out Don Bosco songs all the way home in the bus ;)

Sunday was the feast of Saint James, one of the patrons of Chalchuapa, so they had fireworks going off as early as 5:20 in the morning...and the celebrations continued. Around 5 o'clock (pm) I got out of bed and Sydney and I went out with the few girls who wanted to brave the sudden rainstorm to see the procession of Santiago. We brought 2 umbrellas for 6 people. It was not enough. We all got completely drenched, but it was so fun! There were about 20 men carrying a large platform with 2 statues of Saint James, one being the "apostle" style and the other seated on a horse in a white suit, Saint James the "Moor-killer" apparently (oh dear). There was a little kid standing on the float holding an umbrella over one of the statues: it was very cute. I decided I completely love processions; what a beautiful way to witness the faith in public! It looked so difficult to carry that heavy platform (you should have seen them try to turn!) but they carried it all over town, and there were about thirty other men ready to take their place when they got tired. The priest and altar boys led the procession with the crucifix in front and the townspeople followed. How beautiful to express our devotion to God by traipsing about in public in the pouring rain celebrating the people who made our faith possible by their evangelization (stories of  Moor-killing aside) and holy lives!

A few days later Sydney had to return to San Salvador but the girls put on a "good-bye" dance for her that turned into three or four dances (they really like to dance here, I think they actually won a couple of competitions...). It was very sweet.

The next day was the day of Don Bosco!!! We dressed up in our fancy El Salvador/Don Bosco/Nos Visita t-shirts and headed out in a microbus for Santa Anna. I got smart this time and packed my own toilet paper and soap in my bag and of course ended up not needing them. We lined up on the side of the highway with other Salesian school groups and hundreds of youth in (adorable) uniforms, all waving flags for Don Bosco! They didn't actually close the highway mind you until much later.  We watched the truck with his remains drive by and they unloaded it right in front of us. Parts of Don Bosco's body are incorruptible, which means they have not decomposed in the hundred+ years since his death.  These parts are contained in a box inside the statue of his body that is conveyed in the glass case. You can watch a youtube video of them taking out his heart on another occasion here.

One of the local VIDES volunteers was driving the music van and held the mic out the window for our girls to sing the official El Salvador Don Bosco visit 2010 song which you can watch a music video of here. After the remains of Don Bosco were unloaded from the truck, everybody crowded around to process through the city to a Salesian school where we would have mass. We quickly slipped past the Don Bosco and (as far as I know, unintentionally) became part of the parade. The girls waved their flags and alternated the Don Bosco song with Don Bosco cheers all the way to the school. The energy level was so high, there were so many people!  Why don't we do this kind of stuff in the states? Mass was a bit warm but it was awesome to see so many people, just in one part of this little country, whose lives had been changed by Don Bosco. I thought of all the struggles he faced with each child, trying to help them make the right decisions for themselves with little character foundation to build on, and how it must have been so hard every night to know that not all of them could be reached. Some would choose violence, desperation and damage to their souls over the love and trust in God that he tried to show them. And I thought of our girls here, and every teenager I have ever worked with, and how very hard it is! They experience so much pain in their hearts and they don't understand why or have hope that it will end just by their getting older.  Seeing so many people, and so many youth together to celebrate his life was so moving, God did give him souls after all. Many, many souls.

There are really too many pictures to post so I am going to start a facebook album, but here's a parting shot of Don Bosco's statue for you:

Aside from all that, I am doing quite well here. I love the girls, though they are challenging at times, and I never know what's going to happen next since the sisters don't tell me anything until right before it happens, but it feels right. I know this is where God wants me to be now. So here I am.

Kids say the darndest things...

This morning the girls asked me why I was not so fat because I eat so much food...I tried to explain the concept of metabolism to them in my broken Spanish and they just gave each other these looks of bemused non-comprehension. I thought it was funny too so I thought I'd share some other amusing anecdotes with you all:

When I first got here and was talking about where I was from with the girls, they wanted to know who else I knew from the United States.
"Do you know Molly (another volunteer)?"
"Yes."
"Do you know Sydney?"
"Yes, I met her at formation camp."
"Do you know Shakira?"
"No."
"Do you know Justin?"
"Justin...Beber?"
"Si!"
"NO."

Another time I walked with the girls to school and while Sister was talking to one of their teachers about some issue or another, the English teacher introduced himself to me (I wonder why he thought I could speak English...could it be my accent?) and we started talking. I told him I was from Washington State and he said, "Oh yes, Seattle." I was like "Yeah!" Finally someone knows where I'm from! Even the sisters thought I was from DC. A couple of days later the girls told me that he had mentioned me in class and told the students that I had very good English. I was of course surprised to hear it, but glad to know that I can at least speak one language. 

A couple of days ago I was playing futbol with a bunch of girls on the patio and the bunch slowly whittled down to two and then one (versus me). I was getting my butt whooped, it would have been totally embarrassing if it wasn't so extremely casual and I wasn't in a position of authority and kind of wanting them to win (only a little). It was all I could do to block her kicks, no chance of making it to the other goal...I was down like 5 to 25. But this girl, she kept saying "Okay, it's 8-9. Now it's 9-9." She always kept reinventing the score so that I was right behind her. She's smart, she can count, she was just being nice to me :)

I think that's it for the moment, Oh, also, the girls told me today that they think I'm "muy enojanda" which I am pretty sure signified a combination of angry and pouty or irritated, judging by their gestures. I think it's because I got upset when the girls didn't want to go to adoration and told me they had homework (they didn't, they never do, it's like the government doesn't believe in it and they had more then enough time anyway to do it if they did) and pulled a girl's chair out from the table yelling "VAMOS" with my most stern face. When they don't listen, when they talk about me behind my back, when they lie about their chores, I am patient with them but firm and cheerfully insistent. With such disdain for Christ, my heart just broke.  You can dis me but my patience disappears quite quickly when it's Jesus. Ay, I cried in adoration. I felt so bad. None of those girls came, sister talked to them about her disappointment in them and they stayed and "studied." I pray for these girls every day that they will learn to love Jesus. Because He is the only one that they can depend on, and that's just a fact.

Full disclosure: I did loose my temper one other time when a girl, after weeks of not listening when I asked her to water a different bed in the garden (they persistently over-water...maybe because they don't want to do anything else?) I grabbed the hose out of her hand and said "Escucha!" (with a very stern face). I apologized immediately and said I was a little sick and didn't have much patience (true). She walked out of the garden. This is not the end of this saga (ah adolescence) but tomorrow we will meet as a garden group and go over tasks and assignments for each day so that it is a bit clearer for everyone hopefully. I still have to figure out how to explain that we can't plant all one thing at one time or we have to harvest it all at one time and that means they have to eat a ton of lettuce which they dislike greatly. Ay, yi yi.

Peace, blessings, sleep...more to come about the exciting festivities this week with the remains of Don Bosco in El Salvador!!!

First visitor!

Sydney!!!
(shout out to the Libreria Catolica folks! Check out the sign in the background!)

Outside the Cathedral, very Mary Poppins (feed the birds)
ps they call me that here, "Mary Poppins"

Sydney, the volunteer who left here last September, has come to visit and arrived yesterday afternoon. She spent 2 years here in ES working with the youth in Santa Anna and Chalchuapa. Today we hopped a ride into Santa Anna with Sor. Pati, the Animator (like a superior for the community), who had a meeting there. We visited the school she worked at and she showed me pictures of the girls from the school who are entering with the Salesians here (Sydney is also an aspirant) and all of the nuns commented on her fantastic new outfit or "uniform."

Inside the Cathedral...it's actually all concrete but it's painted very beautifully

They had a life-size photograph of the Shroud of Turin in the Cathedral (Turin is also the home of our founder, Don
Bosco)

Another church...

The theater in Santa Anna where we will see the Don Bosco play soon when the remains of Don Bosco visit!
We are learning a song and everything ;)


It was wonderful to get out and see a bit more of the country and get a better sense of the real world of El Salvador. It was also indescribably lovely to say whatever I felt like and know the words to say! Sydney was running into people she knew everywhere, which gives me hope that I'll get to know more of the greater community outside of our little compound here at Casa Hogar. Apparently there are a lot of local VIDES volunteers in ES that I might get to meet while Sydney's here, and hopefully continue an acquaintance with! Sydney also introduced me to the immigration officer here, who is really nice and speaks English (!) and it seems like it might not be so difficult to get my religious work visa after all, especially if I can get the US Census Bureau to release my fingerprints and background check...

We also checked out the Cathedral and spent some time with Jesus, had Zapote (a very sweet tropical fruit that looks a bit like a potato but is orange on the inside) smoothies, and took a few turns around the Mayor's courtyard.

The courtyard at the Mayor's office. Yes, that statue is exactly what you think it is...Sydney and I had lots of bathroom adventures today as they don't generally stock toilet paper here...and everywhere was out of soap...just thought you might like to know ;)

Hmm...hard to tell the difference between topiary and dance costumes sometimes...  Her boyfriend's outfit coordinated too.  Bright green laces.  Just sayin'.  Some people-watching sessions are very rewarding.

some abstract musings...

I have been so blessed in my life...
beauty is important. So is love. 


The girls I work with here are poor, and most of them are here because of bad home lives for one reason or another, few have father's around. Many are placed here by the government. 


This place is beautiful, I drink it in every morning, but so is my own home in the northwest. Perhaps it is so beautiful to me because of the love that animates it. 


When the girls are here they are so happy, laughing and smiling all day. They are teenagers, so they have their moments but for the most part friendship, camaraderie, fun and love dominate the atmosphere. 


This week all of the girls went home because they were fumigating the compound. Many came back yesterday (more will come today) and ay! what sad faces! So much worry, so much despair.


I wonder what will happen when they graduate from high school and have to leave this place. I talked to the head sister and am going to try to set up a fair trade business for them for the handicrafts they make.Hopefully this will enable them to have both skills and resources to take with them when they have to leave. The more I get into it the more daunting it seems but with the grace of God all things are possible. If you know anything about the process of starting a fair trade business or know any good contacts I'd love to hear your thoughts!


I have been very privileged in my life to live in such a place of comfort as the US. To have so much convenience (a convenience which is sourced from sweatshops in Asia and factories in Mexico and handed-down to the rest of the south),  but most importantly, I have been privileged with love. I have been privileged to have people in my life who care about me and for me and take the time to tell me so. 


I can't tell the girls here I will always be there for them, that would be a lie. I can't tell them the sisters will always be here for them either, that would also be a lie. But Christ will always be there for them. Only Christ. Which is as much as any of us can truthfully say.  This place is called "Casa Hogar" or House Home literally translated. Christ is our home. He is the home in this house. 

Today they fumigated the compound. It was a new experience for me so I took pictures ;) Unfortunately my computer hates me right now and they won't post. I have been using a sock as my camera cover and I was definitely breathing through the sock, the chemicals smelled so bad. I tried to cover everything in my room to minimize the amount poison that could enter my body through clothes and surfaces, but I was slow fastening my metal wardrobe and only just made it out down the stairs to outside as the fumigator was at the door. Very exciting (but not in the happy way). Apparently the do this 3 times a year here.

They sent all the girls (save one) home yesterday for the fumigation and they will return Monday, so I have some time to assess things now. The animator (like the superior for this community) is gone until Saturday at a conference in Guatemala and I want to go over some VIDES stuff with her when she gets back as Sydney (the lovely gal who was here last year) will be here to visit and can help me translate "compost." As I said before, my main job is to hang out with the girls and supervise their chores and quite frankly, I need more work. Being with them constantly obviously takes up most/all of the day but not my mind, and my body wants more labor.  Today I spent a good 4-5 hours in the garden and it was wonderful. The garden really need it too, not that you care about all of the details but we've got some serious soil issues goin' on. So hopefully I can do some more stuff with that outside of "workshop time" and also come up with some other things I can teach the girls or be involved in. We'll see what comes.  

I made a couple of the girls hate me already. I made one girl stop reading her teen magazine to do her homework and she was so angry, her face was just filled with loathing. I know she went back to reading it when I left the room but I didn't go back in because I didn't want her to know that I knew what she was doing and wasn't going to do something terrible about it. She avoided my me for a good day and a half, but she did her chores right away and did them well. Maybe she felt guilty for the way she talked to me. I prayed for her as I glanced at her back in the lunch line, that she wouldn't hate me forever and would be filled with the love of Christ and the desire to do His will and not be quite so contrary. I thanked her for her chores whenever I saw her doing them. Yesterday before she left, she brought me a notebook with all the prayers they say during the day here written out in Spanish for me. I thanked her very much and went to rip out the pages and she said "No, it's for you, I have another."  

This is just one of the many gifts I have received here from the girls, all before really even knowing me. They are so very generous-hearted and full of God's grace. I love them all dearly. 

God is so good, always and in every circumstance. Spending time with Him here has been my greatest joy. It has been quite difficult at times to keep going during the day, especially when I can't explain why I need someone to do something or why certain things are important for the girls. And of course I miss all of you lovely people very much. Sometimes I still stop myself during the day and think "Holy crap, I'm in El Salvador. How did that happen?"  I hope and pray that I can be of use here and not let myself get in the way of Christ, for He is the person that these girls need to encounter every day. He is the one who is going to continue to be present in their lives every day, long after I've departed. He is the reason for everything, but especially, for love. 

And it rained...

The last couple of nights it has rained quite a bit here. It pours and dumps and feels like the heavens are emptying their washbasins on our heads. The lightning is so bright it seems as though someone has turned a light on upstairs. The other night it rained so much the water was up to the level of the corridors and had completely flooded the patio. I ran into the garden to stop the water that was coming through the puncture points in the covering from destroying the beds. I rigged up some buckets and got very wet in the process! The upside is we can use the rainwater I collected for the plants in the next few days.

The girls in this picture are two of the girls that stay here in the dormitory. The one on the right just had a birthday and so we all sang a song for her at lunch.  Across the patio from them is the bakery workshop, one of the many workshops for the girls here. There is also a sewing room, jewelry-making, leather-crafting (mostly adorable key chains), and of course the garden. The bakery also makes the snacks for the girls, which means we have cake pretty much every day!

first thoughts from El Salvador

Well, I've been here a week now. There is so much to say...

                                                                                     The view from my window...I need to hike some volcanoes!

The country is beautiful. From the moment we landed I knew I was going to enjoy this place. I didn't have any trouble getting through the airport, I wrote on the customs form that my final destination was Belize and said I'd only be here for 90 days and they didn't have any problems with it. I got a new stamp in my passport, not as exciting as Indonesia's but still pretty good :)

The sisters met me at the airport and we squashed into the cab of their working truck and went to a Pupeseria for breakfast. That would be a place that serves Pupusas. Pupusas are the national dish of El Salvador and are basically a tortilla filled (like a pita not a taco) with beans/cheese and herbs (the tortillas here are much smaller and thicker than anything in the US and are made with rice flour I think). They are quite good but the cheese and the herbs have a different flavor that anything I've had before. Also, I had some french fries here at the house that rival what we had in France. Basically the cuisine is big into sugar and salt.

The house is called Hogar de Maria Auxiladora or Home of Mary Help of Christians. From the outside it is not much but it is like a paradise when you step inside. There are 25 girls who live here, and they have their own kitchen, dormitory, showers and wash area, while the sisters have their own portion and there is also a school for the little kids (with a playground and everything) on the other side. I sleep above the chapel, which is the size of many a rural church in the states. They have trees and gardens all around and everything is connected with covered walkways, essentially their hallways are outside. Here are some pictures:

L: This is the halway to the girls dormitory, the kitchen, study and library are through doors on the right

R: This is roughly the middle of the complex, a large concrete area with hopscotch and basketball

This is my responsibility: the garden. They grow mostly radishes and lettuce right now but they have other seeds so I am hoping to expand our horizons soon. You notice that it is like a greenhouse but only the top is covered. Welcome to the tropics. They need protection from the monsoon rains more than insulation.

The girls say a rosary every day and are very well behaved for the most part. This is the chapel where we say the rosary about once a week...it is always open for personal prayer though, a true joy. Maria Auxiliadora is there in the blue light above the tabernacle. This version of the Virgen appeared to Don Bosco in a vision and is daily intoned by Salesians.

Mostly my job here is to teach gardening for an hour every day and hang out with the girls for the rest of the time. Sometimes I help with recreation for the school kids in the mornings but otherwise I am to practice "Salesian Assistance" meaning the style of loving God's children taught by St. Don Bosco: Reason, Religion and loving kindness. I am all for it. In the future I imagine I will have more jobs (they just got a big donation of knitting and crochet supplies that I am itching to dive into with the girls) but this is good now. I am practicing my patience and trying to love in the moment.

My Spanish is faring better than I thought, divine intervention I'm sure. Speaking of divine intervention, I totally said a prayer for Spain literally seconds before they scored the winning goal today. The prayer was something along the lines of "Lord, if one person's disappointment is equal to another's, please let Spain win. I know they haven't been the most faithful to you, but the Netherlands is even more secular. Thy will be done, whatever will most glorify you...but it would be really cool if Spain won." I know my prayer isn't the reason they won, but it was awesome to incorporate God into that experience. He is the reason we keep getting up day after day, weather we are thinking of Him or not. Nothing escapes His notice. The girls and I were very excited about the game and they noticed that their favorite song played during the cup ceremony. For your enjoyment ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRpeEdMmmQ0

They're other favorites right now are Justin Beber's "Baby, Baby, Baby" and Lady Ga Ga "Alejandro" but I won't subject you to those videos ;) Oh they also love everything High School Musical and Camp Rock. I have been translating the English lyrics to Spanish phonetics for them to work on their English pronunciation and I had a really hard time not laughing at some parts of those songs...

That's it for now, thanks for trudging through this long post, more to follow...

Still Alive

...not that I was worried or anything, it just seems like a better title than, "hey, here's day 3."

So getting through customs turned out to be a breeze. I wrote that my destination country was Belize on the form and told them that I would be here for 90 days. God took care of the rest. I knew He would, He's so great. I said my rosary a few times throughout the flights and just felt totally confident in Him. That is the beautiful thing about all of this: I am living day to day and just enjoying the time with Him.

A note about LAX. Avoid it.

After the Sisters picked me up from the airport we ran a few errands in San Salvador, picked up a girl who had been in the hospital in Chalchuapa for a few days and went back to Casa Hogar, my new home here in El Salvador. The sister's pickup was a bit persnickety so I told them about my custom of naming and encouraging vehicles in the US. I think their pickup is Frank now.

On the way back to Casa Hogar, we got pupusas. We pulled onto this side road where there were 6 or 7 pupuserias lined up along the side with waving and smiling hostesses at their little stoves in front of each. I thought of you Blanca when I ate my pupusas :) Pupusas are tortillas filled (hot pocket style) with beans, cheese and herbs of some kind, but the tortillas here are very thick, closer to a pita than what we have in the US. Also, the beans here are like a paste. I asked and it is just the culinary style. Oh another note about food: here, in the land of coffee, the sisters drink...nescafe. :D I brought my coffee grinder on a whim so there is hope that at some point I could get a hold of some beans...

The house is gorgeous. And Huge. I get my own room in the tower (very exciting!) and share a bathroom with one other girl. Here are some pictures...

I made it!

I'm in El Salvador. It's Gorgeous.
I think I'm gonna like this place :)
For now I'm gonna sleep.

hugs,
Mary

Hey everyone! I am sitting in SeaTac right now preparing for my departure. Mostly emotionally and spiritually but also a little practical stuff: I am looking up flights out of ES in case I have to buy one for them to let me in...this could be expensive if I have to do it every 90 days! If anyone wants to meet up with me somewhere outside of Honduras, ES, Guatemala or Nicaragua I am open to all suggestions! It will be around my birthday so that could be fun ;). I am hoping that I can convince them I will not be staying past that date without a ticket in hand but stay tuned for how that saga progresses...

On a more typical note for this blog, let's talk about faith. Everything has been moving so fast from about Easter onward that I have been taking every day as it comes and not thinking too far ahead. I tend to really enjoy this for the most part because I am a really impatient person (I gonna work on it) and like to always feel that I am moving forward towards something.  The downside is that I only just realized a couple of days ago that I was actually leaving the country. Indefinitely.

God is so good and I know this is His will, so I feel very glad about all of this and trust that it is going to go exactly as He pleases. Praise His holy name!

ps I am also a bit nervous and I miss everyone like crazy already. Don't worry though, I'll keep you posted :)

I am writing from an English pub in Austin, where I am watching the US vs. Algeria world cup match and typing during the commercials, apologies for any discontinuity in the text.

The trip down here was completely love-Gah!! They missed!! Bounced off the post...sigh
Anyhow, the drive was long but good; I listened to a lot of Catholic talks on cd and am in the process of completely wearing out my rosary tape with Fr. Scanlon and Dana. It was really good to have the time to process and visit with people, including a neighbor who I needed to catch up with, a friend from the Landscape Architecture program at WSU (back when I thought I knew where my life was going), my brother's Godfamily (Lovely people, it was great to spend some time getting to know them as individuals) and my darling Thea- roommate from my time in Knoxville.

I love roadtrips. I love looking at all of the scenery especially and musing about how landscape informs livelihoods and lifestyles and through that the creation of culture. As our cultures merge and change with the speed and breadth of our communication, who are they still informed by landscape? This is probably my LA background speaking but I do find it so interesting...

So here's a few pics from the road for your enjoyment:

Here's the spot in Oregon where I pulled off the road to eat a snack...lots of cattle in this area.

A horse trailer at a truck stop in Wyoming...this baby was completely covered in mirrors and gold paint...nice.

Air Force base in Colorado Springs. Note the rugby on the sign!

Garden of the Gods in the Springs

Garden of the Gods take 2

This squirrel kept coyly coming up to our picnic on base and looking for treats, then sneaking off to the tree to hide until we left. So cute! (and annoying ;)

Godsister Sarah on the bridge above a lovely waterfall

Austin bridge from the waterfront

Thea on a tree!

           This might be my favorite: a painting in the convent of a Salesian sister and our own mother Mary (FMA=Daughers of Mary Help of Christians in Italian)

So there's the cliff-notes of my little trip so far. Looking forward to seeing all you lovelies again before I go and if I don't get the chance in the week I'll be back, know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am going to try to set up email and written correspondence with you all while I am down there too, so send me a facebook message or email with your email if you would like me to send you updates and such! 

Much love, 

Mary

ps GAH!!! This game is killing me!!!

YES!!!! GOAL!!!!! GO USA!!!!!!!!!